Types of Who I Am Stories

Annette Simmons is the author of Whoever Tells the Best Story Wins: How to Use Your Own Stories to Communicate with Power and Impact. Her book is intended to help you get into “story thinking,” using stories as tools for persuasion in your personal and business life.  One of the most important stories you can tell, she says, is the “Who I am” story. Simmons writes, “Your ability to influence people is directly related to what others know or believe about who you are.”

I’ve written about Who I Am stories  (and how they can take on a life of their own) in a previous post. You may be reluctant to reveal too much of yourself to business colleagues, employees, or clients. If you’re not sure how to structure a Who I Am story for business, Simmons recommends a couple of versions that are appropriate.

• A time you shined: Practice a concise and impactful story about doing the right thing. It’s especially powerful if you can illustrate a value that you are hoping your audience will believe drives you. It could be about how you made a tough choice under difficult circumstances, or how you sacrificed immediate gratification for a long-term good. You might have started something (project, company, tradition) that improved people’s lives or made the world a better place. Or how you made it through a terrible time or hardship through faith, willpower, hard work, or the grace of others.

Two things to keep in mind: tell the best parts (no need to tell every detail.) Keep the narrative arc sharp. And be humble. This isn’t about you telling them how great you are; it’s telling them about who you are and letting them make up their minds about your character.

• A time you screwed up: Simmons says it sounds counterintuitive , but showing people you can make mistakes will make them trust you more.  “The very fact that you are sharing a personal failure, flaw, or embarrassing moment means that you trust your colleagues enough to go first.”

Two things to keep in mind: have a purpose for the story. What you learned, how you handled the situation, how it made you better, or how you are making sure it never happens again. You can also use it as proof that you can protect or prevent it from happening to others.

Second, choose a direction for your story that again, illustrates who you are. Did this bad thing happen because you were careless? Young? Stupid? Misled? How you got in is as important as how you got out. People will judge your future behavior on your past, so the entrance and exit points should tell them they can trust you.

• A mentor who has inspired you: This can be a person from your life or a fictional character from a book or movie. Talk about what they taught you, how they embody the value(s) you aspire to, or how they changed the course of your life.

Two things to keep in mind: It’s easier to talk about someone else’s greatness or goodness, so this will be an easier story to tell. You can also choose one of each to keep in your repertoire: one real life and one fictional.

Second: the mentor doesn’t always have to be good. You may have grown up with adults who behaved badly or abandoned you. You may have seen a fictional character who made you rethink your own behavior or values. We can learn from bad examples, too. Choosing a different  – and better – path than someone can also be a powerful illustration of your values in action.