While decision-making remains a challenge for many, McGinnis remains optimistic about how to ... [+]
Patrick J. McGinnis is a venture capitalist, author, podcast host and creator of the term FOMO (fear of missing out), which has not only been added to the dictionary, but has become a highly popular and extremely well-known phrase in American dialogue. He joined Negotiate Anything to share his definitions for FOMO and FOBO (fear of a better option), as well as how gaining a better understanding of these concepts can make decision making easier for all.
FOMO or FOBO?
McGinnis began by sharing definitions and clarifying the difference between FOMO and FOBO. He defines FOMO (the fear of missing out) as an anxiety provoked by the fear that there is something better happening than what we’re doing at the moment. It can also be understood as a fear of being excluded from the group.
“It’s about thinking there is something out there better for you, but it’s also about not wanting to be excluded from the herd,” he elaborated.
He went on to share that when faced with FOMO, most people will often try to do (or participate in) everything.
FOBO (fear of a better option), on the other hand, comes into play when we are attempting to make a choice between acceptable options. Out of a desire to choose the best, we wait until the perfect deal or opportunity comes up. Rather than valuing choice, we focus on option value, and this can lead to decision-paralysis.
Both concepts can have negative impacts on our decision-making ability. According to McGinnis, when it comes to FOMO, we can end up making our decisions based on false data. Social media, and the tendency to compare our lives and set goals based on others’ seemingly perfect situations, is a perfect example of this.
“Perception can be deception,” he shared. “This can cloud your decision-making and you can ultimately end up living somebody else’s dream and not your own.”
With FOBO, the impacts can be even worse. First, there is no such thing as a perfect decision. Second, due to information asymmetry, it will always be impossible to know what choice will be the best. That said, buying into the fallacy that a perfect choice can be made can not only lead to a delayed decision (or none at all), but it can also be frustrating for those who need you to decide.
“We make an assumption that the longer we wait, we will continue to add to our options,” McGinnis continued. “If you wait too long you may end up with no good options at all.”
Simplifying Decision-Making
While decision-making remains a challenge for many, McGinnis remains optimistic about how to overcome these common barriers. First, he breaks all life decisions down into three categories: high stakes, low stakes and no stakes.
High stakes decisions are those that will have long-term implications on your life, health, family, etc. These would be decisions about where to live, whether or not to get married, quitting a job or other similar choices. It’s important to spend the most time on these decisions. On the other hand, low stakes decisions are those you won’t remember having in a month (purchasing a new outfit), and no stakes decisions are those you won’t remember having in a few days (what to eat for breakfast, what color socks to wear, etc).
“When it comes to low stakes and no stakes decisions, we must outsource them,” McGinnis advises.
For smaller decisions, he likes to practice an easy trick to avoid wasting time. He looks down at his watch, where the left side represents yes and the right side represents no. Wherever the second hand falls, determines his decision on that particular issue. He doesn’t recommend this for major life choices, but believes it’s a simple and effective option for those smaller dilemmas that take up too much time.
“When it comes to these little things, getting a decision and just moving on with your life is way more important,” he said.
Improving High-Stakes Decision Making
McGinnis has advice for navigating important decisions as well. To overcome FOMO, he encouraged listeners to always do their homework, ensuring that a well-informed decision is being made. From there, he recommends remaining mindful of your motivations.
“If the motivation for it is that it’s truly something you want to do, then you know you’re doing it for the right reasons,” he explained. “If your motivation is based on external factors and pressures, you know you are dealing with FOMO.”
With FOBO, he encourages decision-makers to list out all of the options and then slowly begin to let go of the ones that you know won’t work.
“The whole process is about letting go of what you can’t have,” he shared. “Be thankful that you had it, but then eliminate it permanently, until you get down to that final option that you choose.”
Finally, McGinnis highly recommends putting pen to paper, and then sharing your options with a trusted friend/family member, advisor or colleague. He suggests sharing with a small, odd number of people (to create a tie-breaker). Not only does writing your options down help encourage self-accountability, but getting a second opinion can help you make a decision faster, and with more confidence.
To learn more visit www.patrickmcginnis.com or follow the FOMO Sapiens podcast. To listen to the full episode, click here.
