Positive young mixed race woman using a laptop and smartphone at home.Cozy home interior with indoor ... [+]
I’ve been a freelancer for six years, which means it’s been six years since I went to the doctor. That’s not entirely true, but what is true is that it’s been six years since I went to the dentist. I can’t blame that on freelancing, though, since I rarely went even when I had dental insurance.
Cavities aside, so much has changed since I began freelancing. I’ve written a lot about how freelancing has changed the logistics of my life, but less about how it’s changed me. For anyone considering making the leap into self-employment, I wanted to offer some perspective on what you can expect to happen on the inside.
Here are four ways I’ve changed since I became a freelance writer.
Perspective
This would shock anybody who met me recently, but I used to be an even bigger ball of angst. Something about gaining and losing work constantly has helped me learn not to take any win or loss too seriously—and I’ve found the perspective relaxing. Just the other day, a $10,000 project fell through, but a few hours later, a $700 project came along. To be fair, $10,000 is a much larger amount of money, and I’m still pretty annoyed—but I rolled with it!
It’s almost as though I’ve taken one of life’s most stressful components—work—and miniaturized it. It’s not that I never panic about work; it’s that when I panic about work, I’m only ever panicking about a small component of my work. I have five or six jobs at a time, so the stress of each one is relatively minor. I’m self-employed, so at the end of the day, the only person who can actually fire me is myself.
Resourcefulness
I’ve had so many jobs fall through at the last minute. But one thing that never falls through is my landlord’s request for rent. When I was a coddled corporate tech employee with free lunch and dental care, I knew nothing! I couldn’t even tell you what day my salary hit my bank account, because I never checked it!
Those days are gone. But it doesn’t have to be a complete loss—in the chaos, there’s much to be grateful for. I’ve also gotten handy at figuring out how to make a paycheck stretch far longer and which of my Twitter contacts might be hiring. And how do I know that? I ask. Which leads me to…
Persistence
I have sent so. many. follow-up. emails. If I put them all together in one book, it would be longer than Infinite Jest, although potentially more coherent and plot-driven. I’ve let go of any shame about emailing people many times in a row. At this point, if Gmail were smart, it would suggest all my emails start with “just wanted to follow-up!”
I’m not ashamed. Or at least, I’m not that ashamed. Spoiler: When they are the one with the money, and you are the one who wants to receive the money, the most likely scenario is that you will need to email them a bunch.
This persistence has helped me in the rest of my life, too. For instance, I dyed my hair 17 times in one month before I finally found a color that matches my skin tone. Am I going to die of Ammonia-related cancer? I probably won’t know for a few decades, which is to say—it’s fine.
Humility
There’s a an upside to getting fired as often as I have as a freelancer—I’ve learned it’s not the end of the world. I had a deep fear of getting fired when I had a full-time job, and that fear is entirely gone. Beneath that fear was something more real—I always felt like I wasn’t good enough.
Now, I often know I’m not good enough—I haven’t performed well enough at all my jobs to get my contracts renewed. And that’s okay. The humility is freeing. It’s a lot of pressure, to constantly have to be good enough. And it’s enough to only sometimes be good enough. Put that on a pillow and start an Etsy business, cowards!
Wealth
Just kidding. Can’t have everything!
