According to Cook, deciding not to negotiate costs the average individual nearly a million dollars ... [+]
Ben Cook is the CEO of RIVA HQ, a negotiation firm on a mission to give everybody the tools they need to maximize their salaries. He joined Negotiate Anything to share the mindset of successful salary negotiators, as well as practical tools for earning more in these critical conversations.
Rethinking Negotiation
Two-thirds of professionals don’t negotiate salary. While this may be the comfortable choice in the short-term, settling for less today has serious consequences for our future career trajectories. According to Cook, deciding not to negotiate costs the average individual nearly a million dollars in foregone wages.
With such serious long-term effects, it’s worth asking why people avoid salary negotiations. Cook’s research has found that it comes down to one main thing: the association between negotiation and conflict.
“People hate arguing - they hate conflict,” he explained. “The last thing they want to do, particularly when it comes to a job negotiation is jeopardize everything by introducing conflict.”
Rather than associating negotiation with conflict, Cook has a different perspective.
“For me, negotiation is about two people who have a shared goal,” he shared.
While we often forget, this is especially true in hiring. Applicants are looking for the right opportunity and employers are looking to fill a position with the right person. The shared goal: filling an open position with the right person.
“The biggest mindset shift is just moving from thinking negotiation is just a big argument to to negotiation is about working together to overcome the barriers that stand in the way of what you both want to do,” Cook continued.
Taking the Plunge - Adopting a Growth Mindset
Despite knowing what we should do, and shifting our perceptions of negotiation, there comes a scary moment when there is nothing left but to do the thing we are most afraid of.
“It’s the taking the plunge moment,” Cook said.
While most professionals believe this is a skill that we either do or don’t possess inherently, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
According to Cook, negotiating for salary is like a muscle. The more you do it, the more comfortable you get with it, and the more you show yourself that it’s possible.
Skills like this can be particularly tough to develop because nobody is forcing you to do it. Naturally, it would be easier for all parties involved if a candidate came to the table and accepted whatever offer was presented. However, we know the negative consequences of this decision.
In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck refers to a similar concept - moving from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. With a fixed mindset, we fail to believe that we can develop different ways of thinking. On the other hand, a growth mindset acknowledges that with practice - we can actually become better at the things we find most challenging (or scary).
The danger of a fixed mindset is that after some time, it can become a rigid identity - one that can be incredibly limiting in life and business.
Practical Tips for Negotiating More
While mindset is critical, Cook shared some practical advice for facing intimidating conversations about salary.
First, he encourages listeners to think about the other goals that are attached to their monetary aspirations. For example, perhaps you’re looking to start a family, propose to a partner or help a family member with health expenses. Keeping these motivations in mind can help you feel less selfish about the request you are making.
Second, he recommends candidates prepare an anchoring tool. Physically write down the terms of your negotiation, including when you will walk away from the table.
Finally, if you’re still experiencing anxiety, Cook advises candidates to blame their salary request on somebody else. Insist that you're only requesting a certain number because another individual (colleague, mentor, coach) informed you that you should be asking for more.
“I love those little moments where you can use what feels like little tricks - but they actually make a huge difference,” Cook said, reflecting on the usefulness of this advice. “You are talking to people right on the margins, who know they need to negotiate, but just need that little push.”
According to Cook, practicing these mindset shifts and tools can really shift how candidates think about themselves, and what they feel comfortable asking for.
“Learning that you can do something as intimidating as negotiating is a real proof point for yourself that despite everything that may be working against you, you can meet the world where it is, plot out a strategy, and get to where you need to go.”
Follow Ben Cook on LinkedIn to learn more. To listen to the full episode, click here.
