Many creative people report feeling incompetent, inadequate and having low self-esteem or unhealthy self-regard at times. But there are ways to shift those feelings.
“So many artists and actors only believe in their own gifts once an agent, a casting director or a producer has declared and affirmed their merit.” Natalie Roy
“Just because you’re an actor doesn’t mean you’re not going to have the same insecurities as everyone else. If anything, it’s magnified.” Eva Noblezada
“Self-doubt is creeping in your mind. A part of you knows you are a performer. A part of you doubts who you are.” – Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz.
Here is a short video of mine with more quotes:
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Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz addresses this topic of self-esteem – especially crucial for actors and other performers.
She writes:
Have you struggled a long time with low self-esteem?
Are your feelings the result of poor treatment as a child or has something more recent left you questioning your worth?
The external pressure to be more and do more can wear down anyone’s self-esteem. Especially if the past is informing your perception of your abilities, skills, talents and overall potential.
If you are a highly creative person – someone with a big drive or determination to achieve your life goals or dreams – an injured self-esteem will show up in your journey over and over again…
It will interfere with your ability to invest yourself in creating your life.
An unrealistic or harsh internal voice can repeatedly stifle your creative spark or disconnect you from your performing abilities.
As challenging as it may feel, when your self esteem issues are triggered it’s an opportunity for you to heal and build a healthier and more grounded sense of self-worth.
- See more in her article How EMDR Can Help you Heal Low Self-Esteem
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This is a short excerpt from a podcast episode with Julie Bjelland and Willow McIntosh on the topic of confidence. They are addressing highly sensitive people, but confidence is an issue for so many – even most – creative people.
Hear the full Episode 117: Confidence: Let’s Explore Where it Comes From and How to Get it, with Julie & Willow at The HSP Podcast.
Also see article with videos and resources by other psychologists and coaches:
How We Can Develop Healthier Self Esteem, Self-Acceptance and Confidence.
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Actor Natalie Roy writes about some of the challenges in feeling worthy:
“So many artists and actors make the mistake of thinking their worth has to do with the number of credits on their résumé, the number of classes they have taken, or the compliments, positive reviews, and outer validation they can collect.
“So many artists and actors only believe in their own gifts once an agent, a casting director or a producer has declared and affirmed their merit.
“And as a result, too many are giving their worth and power away without knowing just how valuable it is.”
She goes on to explain that the word “value” has “many meanings.
“Something can have monetary value or be held in high esteem.
“When talking about yourself, the definition that rings true for me is ‘the regard that something is held to deserve.’
“Do you regard yourself as something deserving?”
See much more in her article Determining + Celebrating Your Worth as an Artist, Backstage, Aug 27, 2018.
The article profile notes Natalie Roy is “an actress, author, and spiritual teacher.
“She’s also a 500-hour certified yoga and meditation teacher specializing in visualization technique, positive psychology for actors, the yoga sutras and taking ancient Eastern philosophy and practices and playing them into the audition room and onto set.”
Photos are from her site natalieroy.com.
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“Mustering up enough self-esteem to say, ‘I want to be an actor,’ was a big turning point.”
– Julia Roberts [Parade mag. Nov 9 2008]
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An interview article notes that “at age 21, Eva Noblezada has accomplished what most thespians her age dream of: a Tony Award nomination! For her stunning work as Kim in this spring’s West-End-to-Broadway production of ‘Miss Saigon.’
“At age 17, having never left the country, she found herself headlining a West End hit.”
She comments about the experience:
Of course you have to learn a lot, you either go with it or sink. And I definitely had my moments!
But it toughened me up and made me feel more confident in being here now.
Just because you’re an actor doesn’t mean you’re not going to have the same insecurities as everyone else.
If anything, it’s magnified.
I didn’t have the physical fitness of a professional actor, the technical training for my voice, I didn’t know anything.
So you can only imagine what it was like for a 17-year-old girl who already has self-esteem issues to be pushed in the limelight, then told, ‘You need to change.’ ‘You need to be better.’ ‘You need to lose weight.’ All that BS.
That’s really difficult and I’m glad I did go through that because it made me be the woman I am today….
I always say, don’t compare yourself to anyone else because they will never be like you, you will never be like them, and that is the biggest blessing, your biggest strength.
[Tony Nominee Eva Noblezada On ‘Miss Saigon,’ Vocal Care, and Self-Esteem By Jack Smart, Backstage May 31, 2017.]
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As possibly an outcome of unhealthy self-esteem, a number of film actors report they don’t even watch their own movies.
When you can be seen in close-ups on twenty foot high theater screens, it may be especially hard not to criticize your appearance and performance.
That sort of criticism may be based on perfectionism, but also can be related to poor self-concept, or even to fraud or impostor feelings.
Kate Winslet once admitted that before going off to a movie shoot, she sometimes thinks, “I’m a fraud, and they’re going to fire me… I’m fat; I’m ugly; I look like a whore!” [laughs] [Interview mag., Nov, 2000]
[From my article Being Creative and Self-critical.]
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Reese Witherspoon once said, “I have absolute amnesia about every movie I have ever made.
“I won’t watch them because if I did I would spiral into a state of self-hate…” [wenn.com 21 Dec 2010]
In an interview on the CBS program “60 Minutes” she talked about how the entertainment business can impact self-esteem.
Charlie Rose: There’s a story that you read New Yorker magazine.
Reese Witherspoon: Yeah. Oh, lord.
Charlie Rose: And there was a list of people who were no longer box-office magic.
Reese Witherspoon: Yeah. I was one of ’em. I thought I was reading, like, a profile on another actor. Then somewhere down– at the end, it said, you know, ‘The people who are washed-up,’ and I think it included me, Tom Hanks, Mel Gibson.
And I remember just being like, “OK.” I — that just — I mean, it really hurt my feelings. Really hurt my feelings.
Charlie Rose: And your self-esteem.
Reese Witherspoon: And my self-esteem. And made me feel like I contributed nothing. And that you’re only as good as your last movie.
Which is a pretty crummy feeling for an actor. But it’s also a great motivator.
From Reese Witherspoon: Ready for a change, CBS Dec 21, 2014.
Photo from her Facebook page.
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Bill Nighy has commented:
“You come to realize there is this huge disparity between what you think about yourself and your work and what other people think about you and your work, at first you either think they’re insane or that it’s a conspiracy to make you look stupid.
“Or maybe, just maybe, they’re right, and you’re sometimes quite good at what you do.”
[imdb profile]
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Even someone as accomplished as Meryl Streep admits she has “varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing….
“You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent. It could be about not feeling able to achieve a certain scene or about an emotion you feel you weren’t able to get to…
“Or that you’re boring and they’re going to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing… any one of those things.”
From my article Gifted and Talented but Insecure.
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“Acting is telling a story, and you’re part of telling that story.
“In some ways therapy helps more than acting class.
“You realize why you operate in certain ways.”
Heather Graham – in post Actors and therapy.
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What can you do about unhealthy self-esteem or confidence?
Developing yourself as a person as well as an actor or other artist, taking classes on subjects outside of your main creative pursuit, volunteering to help children and teens develop their creative abilities, etc.
And working with a counselor or mental health professional can be very helpful.
Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz works with creative people in TV/Film, performing and fine arts.
She also writes about the emotional and creative pleasures of their inner life – and its challenges – on her site Creative Minds Psychotherapy.
Here is an excerpt from an article on her site:
You live your life dreaming to be a performer. Your eyes sparkle at the thought of performing, because that is the essence of who you are.
You dream of those moments when you become one with your performance, flowing smoothly and connecting with your audience.
That’s what performers do… And, you know you are a performer!
Nevertheless, the performer that you are, gets lost in those moments you have an opportunity to show who you are.
An audition lost, a show lost… another opportunity lost. With each missed opportunity, feeling confused about who you are.
You are now wondering: “Am I really a performer?” Can I do this?
Self-doubt is creeping in your mind. A part of you knows you are a performer.
A part of you doubts who you are.
And, in a challenging world of so many talented performers you are now afraid if you will be able to survive.
This is the story of many talented performers.
Deep in their soul knowing how talented they are, but somehow something is not working. Because, in critical moments of having to show up, performance anxiety suddenly kicks in.
Performers describe this feeling in different ways, each having their own words to capture their internal experience: “I just couldn’t be myself anymore,” “All the sudden, I lost my touch,” “It’s like I switched to the other side of me, where I can’t perform,” “I froze!”…
Just, to name a few.
Now, how do you face this challenge?
Read more in her article:
Performance Anxiety Rooted in Old Shame
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Being a highly sensitive person can include self-esteem challenges
Many, perhaps most, artists are highly sensitive people – a personality trait that can enhance creativity, but also come with emotional health challenges.
Nicole Kidman has commented: “Most actors are highly sensitive people, but you have this incredible scrutiny. You have to develop a thick skin, but you can’t have a thick skin in your work. So it’s that constant push-pull…”
Julie Bjelland, LMFT is a psychotherapist and author specializing in the trait of high sensitivity, and a highly sensitive person herself.
One of her podcasts with Willow McIntosh is on How to Develop High Self Esteem.
The Show Notes page includes:
“Recognizing core beliefs can be pivotal to developing confidence and high self-esteem as a Highly Sensitive or “High Sensory intelligent” person.
“We often feel so strongly about the injustices in the world, it can upset us deeply when our core beliefs are challenged.
“Or if we witness someone causing harm in a context that we are particularly passionate about.
“It is very common for us to feel very strongly about the change we know we can make in a particular area.
“Understanding this at a deep level can bring enormous clarity into the importance of our place in the world, the deeper meaning of our lives, and personal empowerment.”
Listen to Episode 61 [May 2020]: How to Develop High Self Esteem Through the Recognition of Our Core Beliefs as a Highly Sensitive Person with Julie & Willow –
Find link on The HSP Podcast page.
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The Self-Acceptance Summit
The Summit is produced by Sounds True, and the site page notes:
Best known for her New York Times bestsellers Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert is a renowned author, traveler, and fearless spiritual adventurer.
In this very special and personal conversation to kick off The Self-Acceptance Summit, Elizabeth speaks with Sounds True founder Tami Simon about the ever-deepening journey of self-acceptance, and how we are sometimes asked to go against the norms to be truly who we are.
Learn more in article: The Self-Acceptance Summit.
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The Power of Self-Compassion
Related article: The Power of Self-Compassion.
Self-Compassion author and researcher Kristin Neff says:
“We often become our own worst critic because we believe it’s necessary to keep ourselves motivated.
“But the research shows that healthy self-compassion increases our inner drive, our resilience, and our ability to excel.”
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Douglas Eby (M.A./Psychology) is author of the The Creative Mind series of sites which provide “Information and inspiration to help creative people thrive.”
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