Workplace Safety: Speaking Up Without Being Thrown Out

There was a time when the notion of “safety” focused primarily on things like how to use a garden tool without losing a finger, how to prevent slipping in the shower, or how to avoid an intersection pile-up during rush hour traffic.

Those things are still important. But in today’s world of “cancel culture” and quick put-downs, it’s more critical (and arguably more difficult) than ever that people feel safe in expressing their views without fear of being verbally—if not physically—attacked.

Some episodes gain widespread attention, like the spectacle at Stanford Law School when a federal judge—who had been invited to speak on campus—was shouted down by students as well as administrators. The judge later described the incident as a “bizarre therapy session from hell.”

Scenes like the temper tantrums at Stanford may be rare in the workplace. But there’s still a growing need to understand and appreciate the importance of fostering cultures that enable people to work together productively.

A welcome addition to the available tools is The Psychological Safety Playbook: Lead More Powerfully by Being More Human by Karolin Helbig and Minette Norman.

What exactly is psychological safety? Harvard leadership professor Amy Edmondson defines it as “an atmosphere where one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, or concerns.”

Isn’t that precisely what every workplace needs?

“When people experience a high level of psychological safety, they can propose new ideas, experiment, innovate, disagree, and even challenge the status quo,” says Minette Norman, a former Silicon Valley software executive who now helps organizations build inclusive cultures. “When there’s an absence of psychological safety, which, unfortunately, is often the case, people hesitate to speak up. They hold back their real thoughts, feeling it’s too risky to challenge the dominant viewpoints. They also cover or mask what’s unique about them and feel pressure to conform and hide their differences.”

So, what’s the cost? “Over time,” Norman says, “a lack of psychological safety can result in stress and burnout, truly damaging someone’s emotional and physical health.”

In recent years there have been frequent reports of people responding to various “triggers” that cause them to feel threatened, demeaned, or otherwise at risk. How can well-intentioned co-workers operate comfortably in the workplace without fearing that they might inadvertently offend or “trigger” a colleague?

“It’s important to realize that human beings are hardwired to be triggered,” says Karolin Helbig, an expert in mindfulness-based emotional intelligence. “Our brain is designed to sense danger and keep us safe, and the brain does not differentiate between physical danger and emotional or social danger.”

Helbig acknowledges that we can’t control whether someone else is triggered by what we say or do. But she says one of the best ways to avoid triggering others is to “deepen our self-awareness, examining if our behaviors, our language, and our tone of voice match our positive intentions.” She says that when others sense our good intent and when there’s a high degree of psychological safety in the team, “people take potential triggers less personally.” When we do inadvertently trigger someone else, she says, “it’s tempting to defend our positive intent. But this is not helpful. What is helpful is to apologize to the other person in a genuine, non-defensive way.”

Some people in our current social culture promote an oppressor versus victim mentality. So, what can leaders do to dispel that perspective and promote a cooperative, trusting relationship among coworkers?

“Most people don’t consciously take on an ‘oppressor’ mentality” Norman says. “They don’t wake up in the morning planning to mistreat their staff members and colleagues. Instead, people fall into this mentality unconsciously, possibly as a reaction to feeling like victims themselves.

Norman says leaders have a huge role to play in changing the oppressor/victim dynamic, and they can start by addressing their own behavior. “While we can’t change others, we can change our own behavior and attitudes. When leaders start by becoming aware that they, just like everyone else, are human, they can begin to create a more collaborative and psychologically safe environment for everyone. For example, if a leader shares a failure or a mistake they’ve made, they invite others to do the same. When they listen to divergent perspectives with the intention of understanding and without defending their own position, they’re inviting others to share their unique ideas. By demonstrating collaborative behavior, leaders will often be met with similar behavior.”

Most experts agree that the way people communicate with each other plays a critical role in an organization’s culture. What, then, are the keys to communicating in a way that promotes psychological safety in the workplace?

Communicating courageously is one of the most fundamental elements in nurturing psychological safety in the workplace, Helbig says. She suggests that one of best ways to start practicing this kind of communication is to regularly ask the question, “What am I missing?” By asking that simple question, people signal that they’re open to looking at things from different angles and even to being challenged. What comes next, Helbig says, is also critical: how we respond when someone else is courageous enough to tell us something we’ve missed. “While we may have an automatic defensive reaction, we don’t have to act defensively,” she says. “If we pause and take a deep breath, we can calm our brain enough to respond in a positive way. For example, we could thank the person for offering a new perspective, admitting that we hadn’t thought of what they shared and would like some time to think about it. We can ask a curious follow-up question. When we communicate in such an open and inviting way, people around us will begin to believe it’s safe for them to speak up.”

Most good leaders know that coaching is an important part of their job. The challenge is delivering—and receiving—performance feedback in ways that promote psychological safety. Norman offers ideas for best practices.

“Before delivering feedback,” she says, “we should think about our intention in giving the feedback. Ideally, we’re sharing our perspective to help the other person be more successful. Feedback should be specific, as we can’t act on general comments. Give negative feedback with compassion, remembering it can be hard to be on the receiving end of constructive commentary. Don’t neglect to provide positive feedback in addition to negative feedback—we all need to know what we’re doing well. The best way to embrace feedback directed at us is to commit to learning and growth, knowing that we need feedback to understand our impact on others and to improve. Recognize that we might get defensive or hurt. Increase our awareness of our emotional reactions and find ways to deal more deliberately with them. It’s fair to say something like, ‘that feedback hit me harder than I expected it would. Can I have a moment to absorb it?’”

Listening is of course a critical element of every relationship. But of course many people don’t listen nearly as effectively as they believe they do. This is where an increased level of self-awareness can help.

Helbig says listening may be one of the most critical leadership skills, and it’s often one of the most underdeveloped.

“When we think we’re listening, we are often distracted by something else or busy preparing our response” she says. “To become better listeners, we must deliberately commit to being interested in others’ perspectives. We need to be fully present and remember to refocus on the person speaking when we inevitably get distracted. The more we practice this meta-awareness, the more we develop our listening skills.”

Helbig acknowledges the challenge of improving with this skill. “It can be hard to resist thinking about how we are going to respond,” she says. “One way to counter this tendency is to remain curious about the other person’s ideas and ask them to tell us more about what they mean. Asking questions to clarify our understanding is another excellent way to listen more deeply as we check our own assumptions and ensure we have truly understood the other person.”

Norman agrees that curiosity plays a powerful role in building strong, trusting relationships. “Our curiosity can take us out of our own ego and instead focus our attention on other people,” she says. “As long as we remain curious to learn from and understand others, we withhold judgment. When we judge, we quickly categorize the world into ‘like me and ‘other,’ which hinders our ability to connect and build strong relationships.

Norman explains the judgment dynamic. “With judgment,” she says, “we think, ‘they are wrong.’ With curiosity, we wonder, ‘why do they think that? I’d like to understand that better.’ We may discover things we have in common with people we thought were complete opposites or even adversaries.

Curiosity is also critical in building an inclusive culture, Norman says. “By nature, we human beings are drawn to people who are most like us—this is our affinity bias. Unless we get curious about people with different backgrounds, experiences, and ways of thinking, we will surround ourselves with people who are just like us, thereby missing out on the tremendous potential of more diverse groups.”

Although the term psychological safety is tossed around a lot these days, it’s been around a while. Clinical psychologist Carl Rogers first coined the term in 1954 to describe a condition in which people feel they possess “unconditional worth.” Academics Edgar Schein and Warren Bennis, along with management guru W. E. Deming later expanded the definition to address empowerment and engagement to improve business outcomes.

The new book by Helbig and Norman provides specific guidance on transforming psychological safety from a feel-good slogan into actual practice.