In a toxic work culture, the complexity of being the only Black person can increase with new hires.
It can be devastating to receive hostility from a fellow melanated person at work. I know this from first-hand experience. I felt overjoyed when an established Black executive brought me into a dream role. Then, without warning, he boldly doubted my competency and plotted to have me removed. The shame of being slighted at work by a fellow Black person is a complicated topic to discuss.
Did he suddenly see me as a threat, and precisely what went wrong?
Toxic work cultures play a significant role in sparking unnecessary competition between Black employees through the belief that only one can succeed at a company or organization.
The nuanced journey from “Only” to “Another” at work was captured by Author Zakiya Dalila Harris in her novel The Other Black Girl, now being adapted by Hulu. The book’s narrative of hope around a new hire melting into suspicion and distrust mirrors real-life scenarios where events are tipped off by shock.
Life As An ‘Only’
Excessive criticism and scapegoating between Black teammates further isolates leaders and employees already on the fringe of work culture. “54% of Black women say they are often ‘Onlys,’ in that they are the only Black person or one of the only Black people in the room at work,” according to a study by LeanIn.Org. Understandably, this leads to a continual sense of being scrutinized.
The study found that Black women who are Onlys often report feeling “closely watched, on guard, and under increased pressure to perform.” The standard unyieldingly proclaims we will only support one person of color at a time.
“When the message is, ‘there is only one spot,’ bias fuels conflict,” author and law professor Joan C. Williams wrote in her research-backed book What Works For Women At Work. A workplace that dismisses Black employees’ encounters and has homogenous hiring practices creates a toxic foundation for incoming team members.
In a professional setting, it can be challenging to stand out the way you want due to everything from overt racism to microaggressive gaslighting. Consider racial gaslighting, for example. It is as simple as being called the wrong name and told, “It’s because you look so much alike.” When tensions arise, how can we differentiate ourselves at work and not fall prey to the Only trap?
Cultivate Community
When a new teammate joins, it can be helpful to link up from day one. “I recommend connection,” said Linda Calvin, Chief Impact Officer at Reboot Representation. “And by that, I don’t mean send a welcome email. Offer to meet for coffee/tea, grab lunch or eat turkey sandwiches over Zoom.” The key is to get to know the other person while sharing about yourself. Through intentional points of contact, trust is built, and it is easier to assume good intent.
When a breach of trust occurs, consider addressing the issue privately with your coworker following Berkeley University of California’s process of resolving conflict. The method includes “Acknowledging that a difficult situation exists. Expressing your feelings. Defining the problem. Determining the need. Finding common ground and ultimately a solution.” Possibly your teammate’s actions were unintentional or unconscious, so attempting a one-on-one conversation may allow space for a quick resolution.
Allyship 365 Days A Year
If you are an ally and are wondering what to do, Calvin offered this insight: “A Black friend recently shared that a white woman asked her how she could be a champion for Black women. She responded, ‘Start with your community. Speak up, speak out, and address behaviors in your network.’”
Another option for allies is to advocate for positive Black History Month programming well before February. In her piece, The 7 Deadly Sins Of Corporate Black History Month Programming, Dana Brownlee pointed out, “Black people already feel slighted by having the shortest month of the year designated to amplify its societal contributions. Don’t pour salt in the wound by selectively forgetting to acknowledge Black History Month at all.”
Creating an equitable workplace where more than one Black coworker thrives requires a team effort every day outside of the month of February. The measure of success? When being known as the Only at work is a thing of the past and studied in history.
