“I was really shy as a kid.” Hayley Atwell
“When I was young, I would not talk to anybody if I didn’t know them.” Vanessa Hudgens
“Sometimes, anxiety can be turned into creative energy to create or perform, but other times, it can become paralyzing.” Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz
Nicole Kidman thinks “Most actors are highly sensitive people.”
A number of actors, musicians and other artists report being shy as a child, or even still as an adult.
Some people may call themselves shy – or are labeled that by journalists and others – even though they are really introverted or highly sensitive.
These traits and experiences differ from each other, but can overlap.
(See article Shyness, Introversion, Sensitivity – What’s the Difference?)
Being shy or introverted, especially in such an extrovert-oriented culture as ours, can contribute to many creative people feeling like ‘outsiders’ or even ‘misfits.’
And even powerful and accomplished artists can experience those feelings, along with anxiety, insecurity, self-doubt.
~~~~
Hayley Atwell comments:
“I was really shy as a kid, but my mum always used to take me to the theatre and I loved it.
“Everyone sitting in a dark room and having the same experience, going on the same journey, and things that weren’t normally said in every day life were being said on stage.
“I didn’t know how to get into it. I didn’t know if I had any talent for it.
“I didn’t even know if I wanted to do anything in front of people, but I just loved that world.
“My parents instilled in me the idea that we can do and be whoever we want to be if we have the right level of awareness.”
From interview with Hayley Atwell, hungertv.com, 2014.
[Photo is from her imdb profile.]
~~~~
Shy at school
“I always had a problem with shyness at school and would never stick my hand up in class if I was stuck at something.
“I didn’t want to be the center of attention, all those eyes looking at me would have made me really nervous.
“I guess some actresses use that adrenalin to push themselves.”
Actor Katie Leung (imdb profile)
~~~~~~~
Having the courage to move out of our comfort zone can be more challenging with unhealthy self-esteem, high levels of self-doubt, high sensitivity, or anxiety – including shyness.
Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz works with creative people in TV/Film, performing and fine arts.
She also writes about the emotional and creative pleasures of their inner life – and its challenges – on her site Creative Minds Psychotherapy.
She finds, “Sometimes, anxiety can be turned into creative energy to create or perform, but other times, it can become paralyzing.”
From my article Artists Dealing With Anxiety to be More Creative.
Here is an excerpt from an article of hers on her site:
“You live your life dreaming to be a performer. Your eyes sparkle at the thought of performing, because that is the essence of who you are.
“You dream of those moments when you become one with your performance, flowing smoothly and connecting with your audience.
“That’s what performers do… And, you know you are a performer!”
But, she continues, the performer that you are, can get lost in “those moments you have an opportunity to show who you are.
“An audition lost, a show lost… another opportunity lost.
“With each missed opportunity, feeling confused about who you are.
“You are now wondering: “Am I really a performer?” Can I do this?
“Self-doubt is creeping in your mind. A part of you knows you are a performer.
“A part of you doubts who you are…”
She asks, “How do you know your anxiety is rooted in old unconscious shame?
“If you tried everything and nothing is helping, may be a sign. If your tried couching, relaxation, mindfulness, self-help books and nothing seems to work… Then it’s probably an anxiety that is covering old shame.”
Read much more in her article:
Performance Anxiety Rooted in Old Shame
Follow link to see her many other articles on topics that impact actors and other artists, and forms of therapy – such as EMDR – that help.
~~~~~
“You have to be really open…and never give up.”
Interviewer: How is this industry different from the others? Do you feel like you’re “selling yourself“ when talking to directors and producers?
Actor Ivona Tomiek: I think it’s much more personal because you are always presenting yourself. You are your own project.
It can be intimidating sometimes, you have to be really open to people.
I’m quite shy and I tend to close up myself, but also it takes a lot of effort to constantly be open.
So often I say to myself to calm down, relax and think of a wonderful day that I’m going to spend in this industry.
Because business for me is strictly business, however acting is more personal for me…it’s just yourself. At the end of the day, it’s just you and your thoughts, work, passion.
In the end, you can never give up. Because if you do, it’s your fault that you lost maybe some other chance to succeed.
Through acting, I discovered there is something else out there, something more, not just me. I discovered another part of myself, new emotions, and that’s why acting is something I would like to do. That’s why, for me, it’s important to always try again.
From article “Interview with Ivona Tomiek, a young actress” By Kaja Pavlinić 20-12-2019.
~~~~~~~
Artists and insecurity
Kate Bosworth thinks “all actors are insecure..
“I certainly am… I think almost all artists are insecure.
“I don’t ever watch myself and think, ‘That was great, I hit it out of the park!’ Never…
“One of the things I love most about this job is that I don’t feel like you can ever master it.
“I think you’re always learning and you’re always growing, and even when you think you’re at the top of your game, there’s always something else that you can do and learn.”
See more in my article Actors and Insecurity.
~~~~~
Actors and other artists are often Highly Sensitive People
Nicole Kidman thinks “Most actors are highly sensitive people.”
Being a highly sensitive person is a personality trait shared by about 20% of us, and perhaps most artists and creative people.
Here is a brief intro video about the trait:
Learn more at JulieBjelland.com
Being highly sensitive can add more challenges, especially in such an extroverted profession as performing.
Being shy and introverted growing up, I often felt deeply “wrong” for being different, not like the “normal” people who seemed so confident and outgoing.
Julie Bjelland, MA, LMFT is a therapist who specializes in helping highly sensitive people – HSPs – and is one herself. She writes:
“We experience the world differently than up to 80% of the population.
“Our nervous system is programmed to be so highly in-tune and aware that it often goes into overdrive in the busy, fast-paced current version of our lives.
“Fortunately, there is a way to feel better.”
She also explains:
“Highly Sensitive People have particular brain differences that make us more susceptible to high stress, overwhelm and even anxiety.
“Thankfully there is a way to train your HSP brain so you can live your fullest life.”
See much more – including videos – in article:
How Can Brain Training Help Highly Sensitive People Thrive?
~~~~~
Alanis Morissette comments on being highly sensitive, and how important self-care is:
“I get maxed-out more quickly than some, so it’s my responsibility that I schedule little mini-breaks throughout the day, and have enough sleep.
“It’s almost incumbent on me to make sure that I take care, in a very fierce way, in order to be able to continue to write and to be the person I want to be.”
Read and hear more comments in a brief audio clip in the post: Cheryl Richardson and Alanis Morissette on High Sensitivity.
Morissette is part of the documentary “Sensitive—The Untold Story.”
A summary notes, “An avid supporter of Dr. Elaine Aron’s research and a HSP herself, she shares her compelling story AND music in the film.”
Sensitive – The Untold Story is now available on Amazon.
“A groundbreaking documentary about the temperament trait of high sensitivity found in 20% of the population in both men and women. Based on the findings of bestselling author-psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron…”
Follow link to rent or buy the movie.
Also see video about the movie “Sensitive–The Untold Story” in article: Elaine Aron on the trait of high sensitivity.
See many more quotes by actors and other artists in article: Being Creative and Introverted, Shy or Highly Sensitive in the Arts.
~~~~~~~~~
Vanessa Hudgens is one of many talented and dynamic actors who have talked about being shy:
“When I was young, I would not talk to anybody if I didn’t know them.
“I’d hide behind my mom if she tried to introduce me to anyone.”
Part of the reason she chose to act in “Sucker Punch” – and wear revealing costumes for the role – was because she found the movie’s underlying message empowering.
She said, “You want to be the best that you can be and be the most ferocious…the costumes gave us a sense of confidence and power.”
From post: Vanessa Hudgens on striving to be strong and aware.
Like many actors, she also knows it takes courage for many roles, such as her work in “Gimme Shelter.”
She says:
“I don’t like being stagnant. I want to continue to grow and just be better at what I do, and the only way to do that is to keep stepping outside of your comfort zone.”
From Living and Creating: Fear Is Not A Disease.
~~~~~~
Clea DuVall has referred to herself as “an only child and I’m just a real loner kind of person, and yeah, kinda dark.
“But I’m happy. Not sad. I’m just shy and nervous.” [imdb.com]
The photo is from an article in which she notes, “I really identify with the feeling of being ‘other.’
“And those are the characters that I’m really drawn towards, because I just think they’re more complicated and they’re more interesting.”
From Clea DuVall Is Finally Playing ‘The Gay That I Feel Like I Am’ by Daniel Reynolds, The Advocate, July 01 2016.
On the tv series “Heroes” she played an assertive FBI agent, and has garnered acclaim for her dynamic acting in the series “Carnivale” and many films including “21 Grams,” “The Laramie Project” and “Girl, Interrupted” – but DuVall has been candid about being introverted and sensitive.
In an interview [in 2000] about doing publicity for her films “But I’m A Cheerleader” and “Committed,” Clea DuVall admitted,
“That was my first photo shoot and I was so nervous. I was just nervous and shy and Matthew Lillard and Mary McCormick are just so outgoing and Brad Rowe and everybody else was getting along so well and I was just shy.
“I was just watching. I feel like I’ve gotten better and I’m not as in my shell as I used to be. I’ve gotten better at not making people feel uncomfortable with my shyness.” [28th Street, January 2000, posted on CleaDuVall.net]
And she has also said, “I was a loner in high school. I keep to myself, but I love life.” [tv.gen interview, unknown date]
~~~
Melanie Lynskey has also talked about being “really shy as a child.
“I walked around with a constant fear that I’d say something stupid and be laughed at, or that people were looking at me and thinking I wasn’t pretty enough, interesting enough, smart enough.
“When I discovered acting, I felt an immense freedom.
“I felt like I could explore different aspects of myself without fear of judgement.
“I was able to be brave in a way that was really hard for me in real life.” (imdb profile)
~ ~ ~ ~
Maybe acting – playing other people – is a way to use shyness or introversion, or deal with it, for many artists.
Mischa Barton said she was always called “the shy one” and “got so much more confident as I realized acting was what I really wanted to do.”
Kim Basinger has said, “As a child, I was very shy. Painfully, excruciatingly shy. I hid a lot in my room. I was so terrified to read out loud in school that I had to have my mother ask my reading teacher not to call on me in class.”
Nicole Kidman has said, “I am very shy – really shy – I even had a stutter as a kid, which I slowly got over, but I still regress into that shyness. So I don’t like walking into a crowded restaurant by myself; I don’t like going to a party by myself.”
Taye Diggs says he has been acting for as long as he has been shy, and has an interesting perspective on using acting:
“I wouldn’t say my insecurities and shyness have lessened just because of expressing myself through acting, but what has a role in my becoming more confident is the kind of false sense of adoration you get from the business.
“Because I was so insecure, it gives me a reason to be a little more confident.”
[From my interview with him years ago.]
Photo: Taye Diggs on the set of Murder in the First (TV series 2014-16).
~ ~ ~
Introversion, high sensitivity
Shyness is a form of social anxiety and can be related to low confidence, but it may be confused with introversion or high sensitivity – which are two common personality traits of many creative and talented people.
See article: Shyness, Introversion, Sensitivity – What’s the Difference?
While acting may be a way to gain confidence, some people find it helpful to get counseling, or explore if they have social phobia or some other kind of anxiety that may keep them from being authentic and freely expressive on stage or on camera.
See article: Performers With Stage Fright and Anxiety.
~~~~~~
Mark Ruffalo :
“What is happiness other than a negotiation between reality and your dreams?
“It’s understanding that you give up something for something else.
“I feel like that’s been how I’ve been trying to be happy, although in my DNA there’s more of a depressed person.
“That’s when I feel like I’ve been the happiest, when I can make that negotiation happen and keep things balanced.
“Whether it’s between work and family, between activism and family, between activism and work, and whatever little time as an introvert I can carve out for myself to recharge my batteries.”
(From post: Mark Ruffalo on the Secret to Happiness in Hollywood, By Nigel M Smith | Indiewire June 16, 2015.)
In another interview, Ruffalo comments:
“Oddly enough, though I don’t identify as a Christian, I was raised with the teachings of Christ. Take away all of the dogma and all of the noise that we hear surrounding religion, and those teachings, by themselves—being loving, kind, tolerant, and considerate—every prophet lectured about.
“I was an outsider, an introvert, and could relate to people who were struggling and I just had a sensitivity to people who were not being treated well.”
(Mark Ruffalo Cover Story, May 9, 2014 by Dann Dulin, Art & Understanding Magazine.)
(Photo of Mark Ruffalo from article “5 Things You Didn’t Know About Mark Ruffalo.”)
~~~~~~
“I’m actually very introverted. I’m very shy. I’m very emotional.”
Fashion designer Tom Ford
He also said:
“After just being in New Mexico for two months, I realized that I could really work from anywhere.
“I am really a loner after all; I am really not a social person.”
See more quotes by and about Amy Adams, Rebel Wilson, Gwen Stefani, Nicole Kidman, Kim Basinger, Clea DuVall, Taye Diggs, Audrey Hepburn, Jessica Chastain, Emma Watson, Claire Danes, Julie Christie, Chris Cooper, Kate Mara – and other artists such as J.K. Rowling, Tom Ford, Tory Burch in the articles:
Shyness and High Sensitivity – On Stage or Off
Introverted, Shy or Highly Sensitive in the Arts
~~~~
Emma Watson says “The truth is that I’m genuinely a shy, socially awkward, introverted person.
“At a big party, I’m like Bambi in the headlights. “It’s too much stimulation for me, which is why I end up going to the bathroom! I need time outs…I get anxious.
“I’m terrible at small talk and I have a ridiculously short attention span.
“Which isn’t to say that when I’m in a small group and around my friends, I don’t love to dance and be extroverted.”
~~~~
Dealing with self-doubt
“Feelings happen. Doubt happens. What will you do with that story your brain is telling you? Will you buy in to it?
“Or will you observe it, acknowledge it, and let it pass? The choice is always YOURS.”
Those quotes are by coach and author Mel Robbins.
Learn about her online course in article
How to build self-confidence.
~~~~~~~
A number of creative, even gifted, people say they feel like misfits
“There was something wrong with me, I thought, because I seemed to see things other people didn’t see.” John Lennon
Therapist Sharon M. Barnes works with creative, sensitive, intense, intelligent children, teens and adults.
She hears from many of them statements like John Lennon made.
She explains her home-study program, designed to help people gain more emotional health.
See more in article Emotional Health Program for Creative, Gifted, Sensitive People.
~~~~~
Douglas Eby (M.A./Psychology) is author of the The Creative Mind series of sites which provide “Information and inspiration to help creative people thrive.”
ø ø ø ø