Group Of Businesswomen Collaborating In Creative Meeting Around Table In Modern Office
As the Black History month of February ends and approaches Women’s History month, it is the perfect time to talk about a particular workplace phenomenon identified as “pet to threat.” It happens when women, typically black women, are praised and supported by their managers when they start a new endeavor until they start demonstrating to excel in their role and propose ideas. At this point, some managers, especially males, perceive them as a threat and hinder their careers.
Kecia M. Thomas coined the term “Pet to Threat” in 2013 after studying the phenomenon as racist behavior. As a white woman, I have suffered it, too, working in male-dominated industries like engineering, oil and gas and tech. So what is this behavior about, and how does it impact women in their careers?
For example, a woman starts working in a new team, selected thanks to her background, skills and experience. She starts being assigned to do basic, mostly admin, tedious, and repetitive tasks.
She is praised for her work and is asked to support other male professionals, but she is not invited to do more of the work she is qualified to do. Despite her requests to do more challenging tasks, she keeps being told to be patient and gain experience. She is a high achiever and feels like her skills are underutilized. She gets demotivated and frustrated and starts questioning her abilities.
She receives mixed messages from her manager, who sometimes is critical of her in front of others and steals some of her ideas, and is friendly and supportive in other instances. Pushing herself to work even harder to prove her value and not making any progress, she feels she doesn’t have what it takes to succeed.
Many women lack the self-confidence and support to escape the problem in this situation. As they are not being heard, they feel onlyness.
In her various studies, Thomas says that women may be treated as pets rather than professionals: “A pet is beloved, cared for, and often treated in a child-like fashion.” Unfortunately, it is also common to experience this treatment when you are young, look “too young,” or are good-looking and dress elegantly. Unconscious bias makes us choose to work with people similar to us, who dress and look like us.
What to do if you are in the pet to threat situation:
- Break the onlyness pattern by looking for a supportive partner at work, such as another woman or black coworker who you can talk to
- Speak up. Discuss with your manager how you feel. Ask for specific feedback on what is holding you back and what you can do to go to the next level. If you are dismissed, this may be a red flag.
- Be patient. Analyze the situation and the facts with a calm mindset to differentiate if it is only a matter of time or if it is a pet to a threat situation. Receiving mixed messages is a clear red flag. Be aware of microaggressions, favoritism and different treatments.
- Look for women mentors within the company who have been able to go up the career ladder despite the pet to threat. They can provide you with feedback and help you define what your options are.
- Get an internal or external coach who can help you regain self-confidence, recognize your strengths and take action to change the situation.
- Join women or diverse communities, within or outside the company, that can support you in your career. Sharing your perceptions and listening to others help you clarify what is happening and define if it is you, them or both.
- Don’t take it personally. While some of these strategies can be implemented right away, others may take some time, like moving to another group or job. In the meantime, don’t take it personally. If you are treated like a pet, it is on them, don’t blame yourself for being young, black, an immigrant or a woman. Remind yourself that being perceived like you don’t belong doesn’t mean you don’t belong. The first person that needs to believe in your superpower is you.
As women, we get used to being seen as less capable or less available because of sexism, maternity leaves and racism, but we don’t have to accept it anymore. Instead, we must recognize our value, identify where we want to go and fight for it. If you see any red flags, explore your opportunities to change groups, move to another company or ask for help from HR.
