How To Make Time Your Best Friend

“If I had more time, I would…”, “I wish I had more time so that I could reach goal x.”, “If only this day had 48 hours.” - Do any of these sound familiar to you? What would YOU do if you had more time on your hands?

Especially at the beginning of a year, the big goal planning starts. The time has come for resolutions, vision boards, gym subscriptions and healthy meal planning. However, by the end of January, most of the resolutions are already forgotten and in February, gyms are empty and the famous time is gone again.

Time isn’t supposed to work against you, it’s supposed to be there for you and to serve you. Everyone gets the same amount and you decide what you make of it. Making time your best friend won’t happen from one day to another. Yes, it actually takes time to make time your best friend. However, with a few simple (and not time-consuming) steps, you’ll get there.

Stop and write it all down

You’re sitting behind your desk, emails are flowing in, your phone rings and your to-do list keeps on growing. In the back of your mind you are also writing your grocery list and making a mental note to not forget to call your dentist for an appointment.

In this moment of sensory (and mental) overload, it’s crucial to stop, step out of the situation and take a moment to simply write it all down. You can call it your mental download.

Once you’ve downloaded all your (personal and professional) to-dos on paper, it helps to simply take a deep breath and acknowledge that you have a lot going on, that you are committed to making time for your best friend, and that you are willing to put in the work to make it happen. If you are alone, you can also say this out loud and find your own words. Imagine also for a moment how amazing it would feel to take a load off and finally get rid of the burden of all this busyness and stress?

Be honest with yourself

Ready for the uncomfortable truth? Most probably, your to-do list is, diplomatically speaking, very optimistic. There are a lot of things on it that need to be done, no doubt. Nonetheless, it is extremely important to get your priorities straight before you get into “doing mode”.

Let’s put the to-do list aside and have a look at the bigger picture: What area of your life would you like to focus on? Is it “work”, “family”, “health”, or “friends”? Or maybe something completely different? The four suggested categories are from the “four burners theory”, according to which you cannot have four burners running at “full speed” all the time. So if right now you want to prioritize your health, you have to cut down on the other areas and focus on that. Yes, this isn’t an easy task to do, but who wants to have overcooked pasta with a burnt sauce?

Dig deeper

Another way to figure out what is truly important is to divide your to-dos into different projects. Maybe you want to write a book, or finally want to have more time for your friends? Finishing work on time and still having time to simply relax could also look like an attractive project.

In the next step, you ask yourself the questions “Which project would make the most impact for me?” or “Which project would give me the most energy?”. You might not have an answer immediately, but once you’ve found it, the decluttering can start.

Author and entrepreneur Marie Forleo who is behind the Time Genius programme definitely knows a thing or two about time management. She’s also a big supporter of getting your priorities right. In one of her podcast episodes, she explains that it’s extremely important to divide your tasks between important and urgent. Urgent tasks could be your email and social media notifications popping up and demanding your attention. For sure they also feature on your to-do list. The same goes for keeping the apartment clean, grocery shopping, etc. Yet, are they truly important and need to be done immediately? The important tasks are those that need our attention to reach our goals and accomplish the projects that are very dear to us. One might consider them as the quieter tasks and the actual work to reach your goals.

Focus and declutter

Congratulations! You just did some great work and laid the groundwork for an excellent relationship with time. It’s always good to start a new friendship with a clean slate, isn’t it? Let’s start building this friendship!

Now is the moment to get your to-do list back in front of you and have a pen at hand. Remind yourself of the priorities you set for yourself and the projects you wish to focus on. Of all the things you have written down, which tasks are important and which are urgent? Mark them with a little “i” and “u” to see at a glance how many “i” and “u” tasks you actually wrote down.

Make choices

The Eisenhower matrix starts where the previous step ends.

Let's start with the most satisfying quadrant: not important and not urgent. The tasks without any letter ("i" or "u") can be dropped! Just cross them out.

What about the purely urgent one (marked with a "u"). Is it really you who has to do these tasks or can they be delegated? And please be (again) honest with yourself.

Moving on to the truly important tasks: those are the ones you want to focus on and that should get your whole attention. If the list of your important tasks is a mix of "i" tasks and "i+u" tasks then you should definitely start with your "i+u" tasks, whereas you can already decide when you will dedicate time on your "i" tasks.

Test and repeat

As mentioned in the introduction, it takes time to make time your best friend, but it's worth it. And like with every friendship, you need to meet several times and get to know yourself better before you can consider someone your best friend. It's the same with time.

Test and try out what works best for you in the different steps above. The more you get into this routine, the more results you will see, and the more time you will have.