Women CEO's: Get comfortable being uncomfortable
“Looking back, I found some of the most rewarding experiences of my professional life happened when I was outside my comfort zone.” - Karen Lynch, CEO of CVS Health, Women CEOs Speak Report 2022.
A core theme from Korn Ferry's latest Women's CEOs Speak is the importance for women to take on stretch roles and do the very things that scare them. Over half of the female CEOs interviewed in the study (including Lynch) said that embracing tough assignments helped them gain the courage, confidence, and visibility they needed to propel their careers forward.
Of course, putting oneself ‘out there’ – risking failure, rejection, criticism, and exposure - is easier said than done. It takes courage, the virtue that Maya Angelou called most important of all the virtues because, to quote Angelou “without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently.”
Of course the call to courage applies to women and men alike. Yet holds a unique relevance for women who must contend with an array of barriers and biases, gender norms and double-binds, that add complexity to their career journey.
To that end, I you’ve been holding back from stepping up to the plate in bigger bolder ways for fear of what might happen if you do, here are four strategies to defy that fear that preferred you didn’t.
Doubt your doubts
Who do you think you are to do that?
You not smart/ talented/ experienced/ fill-in-the-blank enough.
What if you fail? What will people say?
Sound remotely familiar?
Many women have a daily wrestling match with what Arianna Huffington called ‘the obnoxious room mate’ in their head. That critical hyper-cautious voice constantly second-guessing their smarts, pointing out their shortcomings, fueling ‘imposter syndrome’ and imploring them to play it safe and settle for the status quo.
Regardless of gender, none of us are immune to self-doubt. Yet a variety of factors -such as a lack of positive role models - set women up to doubt themselves more and back themselves less than their male counterparts.
Accordingly, the most successful female leaders I've encountered have consistently shared that mastering their inner critic and leaning into their fears has not only bolstered their confidence, but has opened new doors of opportunity, many far bigger than they could have imagined.
Trust yourself, not your fears
Cast your mind back to a big challenge you once faced that caused you to feel overwhelmed or anxious. Chances are you felt stressed you’d be unable to handle it.
And yet here you are! Someone who is that bit stronger, wiser, and more resilient for the experience.
The lesson?
You are capable of more than you think!
Now apply that learning to your current situation. What possibilities might open up if you trusted in your resourcefulness to rise to the challenges at hand. As I wrote in You've Got This: The Life-Changing Power of Trusting Yourself, learning to trust in yourself to figure it out as you go along will not only spare you a lot of stress, it will unleash potential that your fear may otherwise have held dormant.
Connect to a purpose beyond yourself
Two key facts about the human condition.
- Fear is often not rational but it's always the dominant default emotion.
- Without a compelling reason to risk what we fear, we won’t.
Which brings me to an important question:
For the sake of what are you willing to be brave and put yourself 'out there'?
Answering this question will connect you to a purpose more compelling than staying comfortable and avoiding failure.
For instance: achieving an inspiring goal, making a difference in the world, or simply because it's just the right thing to do (i.e. integrity is a core value you won't compromise.)
As my colleague Kevin Cashman shared on my Live Brave podcast, “Purpose activates courage.” It compels us to go ‘above and beyond’ in critical moments and career junctures. To quote one leader in the CEO Speaks study:
“Don’t settle. Follow your passion and purpose…. leaving your fingerprints on every assignment that you have.”
Embrace the detours. No career is linear.
‘One of the biggest decisions is to get comfortable with risk-taking, that is when growth happens,’ Ginni Rometty, former CEO of IBM and co-chair of OneTen.
Of course, not every risk lands a wildly successful outcome. Sometimes we don’t get it perfectly right the first time. Sometimes we do fall short of the high bar we set for ourselves. Yet even when our risks don’t land our ideal outcome, we still learn and we still grow far beyond what we would by playing it safe. “Women are their greatest critics and have this idea that they cannot take a bigger risk and they always feel they’re not ready for the next step," said Rometty.
“No path is linear,” shared another female CEO. It’s why the dots only connect when you’re looking backward. Learning to lean into the curves and using the situations that test you the most to teach you the most will set you up to bounce forward from disappointments.
“I learned the most when I was doing something I had not done before,” said Karen Lynch. “So go ahead and take that stretch assignment. Consider the bold job move. Get out of your comfort zone and pursue your passion.”
Make the conscious decision to get embrace discomfort. Not to make you squirm, but to help you grow.
Start acting as the leader you aspire to become.
Give yourself permission to step up before you feel fully ready.
And when you don’t land the perfect 10, extract the lessons and move on.
The world needs your courage, not perfection.
Dr Margie Warrell is a bestselling author, keynote speaker and Senior Partner at Korn Ferry who contributed to the latest Women CEO Speaks study.
