“You know you’ve found your voice when you feel real, connected, and strong.” – Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz
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Many of us may find it challenging at times – even often – to be deeply in touch with who we really are, and live authentically; there are so many pressures from the social and work cultures we live in to hide.
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A Good Morning America article notes Glennon Doyle has a new book titled, “Untamed,” a memoir “where she continues her journey of self discovery…
“The message of her book? We must untame ourselves and live free from societal confines and ideas about how we should behave in order to bravely find our inner voice.”
Glennon Doyle comments on “lostness” and authentic identity:
“I’ve spent much of my life lost in the woods of pain, relationships, religion, career, service, success, and failure.
“Looking back on those times, I can trace my lostness back to a decision to make something outside myself my Touch Tree.
“An identity. A set of beliefs. An institution. Aspirational ideals. A job. Another person. A list of rules. Approval. An old version of myself.
But, she adds, “Now when I feel lost, I remember that I am not the woods. I am my own tree. So I return to myself and reinhabit myself. As I do, I feel my chin rise and my body straighten.”
Video and text from article “New memoir, ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle, dives into what happens when women find their voice.”
She notes in her book Untamed:
“Language is my favorite tool, so I use it to help people build a bridge between what’s in front of them and what’s inside them.
“I have learned that if we want to hear the voice of imagination, we must speak to it in the language it understands.
“If we want to know who we were meant to be before the world told us who to be—
“If we want to know where we were meant to go before we were put in our place—
“If we want to taste freedom instead of control—
“Then we must relearn our soul’s native tongue.”
She adds, “When women write to me in the language of indoctrination—when they use words like good and should and right and wrong—I try to speak back to them in the language of imagination.”
(Photo from article Untamed Spirit: Glennon Doyle.)
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Has Generational Female Oppression Impacted Your Ability to Bloom?
Sensitivity expert Julie Bjelland comments in her blog post of the above title:
I was reading Glennon Doyle’s book Untamed, and she told a story of how one day her son and daughter each separately had friends over.
She asked everyone if they wanted to eat and all the males said yes instantly, and the females looked to each other to see if they “should” say yes or no.
It was a little moment of seeing how women from a young age are programed and encouraged to go with what everyone else wants, rather than filtering through our own personal needs.
Imagine if from a young age we were encouraged to look within and trust our intuition to guide us?!!
Visit the blog section on her Sensitive Empowerment site – where you can find many more articles, podcasts, books, courses and other resources: HSPblog.com.
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Actors and other artists may find themselves disconnected from their authentic creative voice at times, feeling insecure and self-critical.
Psychotherapist Mihaela Ivan Holtz helps creative people in TV/Film, performing and fine arts.
She also writes about the emotional and creative pleasures and challenges of their inner lives on her site Creative Minds Psychotherapy.
Here is an excerpt from one of her related articles:
Despite recognition, achievements, and success, some creatives and performers just don’t seem to feel happy or complete in their work.
They feel disconnected with what they create or perform. They’re left in a space of emptiness and loneliness, always in searching for something…
Sometimes they don’t even know what is it that they are looking for. They just know something is missing in a profound way.
A sense of “I don’t feel at home,” “I don’t feel myself,” or “I feel empty and disconnected” follows them around.
This feeling of disconnection and emptiness doesn’t seem to go away. It keeps coming back.
Who are these creatives who are always searching or longing for something they don’t seem to find?
There is the actor who wants to be a writer, the musician who wants to write their own songs, the comedian who wants to experiment with drama…
Do you recognize yourself? Are you the creative or the performer in search of your voice? What it is it that you are really searching for?
This longing isn’t only about wanting to try something new or different, wanting to reinvent yourself, or experimenting with multiple talents.
True creatives have multiple talents…. They continue to evolve and always find new ways of expressing themselves.
To have such fertile creativity is indeed special. These creatives don’t feel disconnected or empty. They actually feel fulfilled, connected, and prolific.
Instead, I am talking about the persistent sense of feeling unhappy, discontented, or unfulfilled with how you manifest your creative or performing energy.
Somehow, that actor, musician, writer just doesn’t feel like you and you constantly feel empty, disconnected, and unmotivated…
Perhaps you even feel depressed, lonely, and flooded with anxieties.
This sense of disconnection, although it becomes most apparent in your creative life, is actually much deeper than your relationship to your art itself.
In truth, it’s bringing to light something deep within you that is unhealed and is keeping you from being YOU.
This is how it feels when you find your voice.
When you find your voice, nothing else matters. No doubts, no insecurities, no fears interfere with that voice.
There is no waiting for the right moment. You don’t need anyone’s permission…
You are that voice, and it feels so normal to be that voice that you don’t even notice how it flows. It just does. You just are…
When it comes out, it is clean, loud, and clear.
There is no question about being confident or right. You just are.
It does not mean that you don’t have fears, insecurities, or doubt. We all do. It just means that they are not interfering with you being YOU.
This is your unique you coming out in your unique way. YOU.
No one is like you and you cannot be anyone else but you.
Acting, writing, singing, dancing …. no matter what you create it is YOU.
Like a shining beam, the core of who you are comes right through your art.
This is why the same song sounds different with each and every singer.
Or why the acting, the writing, or the dancing is never the same … they may tell the same story but the unique voice changes how it’s told in such a profound way.
You’re never more alive than when that art you express or you create is YOU. …
You know you’ve found your voice when you feel real, connected, and strong.
Read more in her article:
The Mystery of Finding Your Creative Voice
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Thora Birch has commented on how transitory our perspectives and feelings can be:
“If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I look in the mirror and see the most vile creature.
“But if I’m feeling comfortable about myself, then I’m more accepting.
“I’m not like, ‘Oh my God! look at that gorgeous person.’
“It’s just like, ‘Yeah, okay. That’s doable.’”
[Quotes are from article Actors and Insecurity.]
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Douglas Eby (M.A./Psychology) is author of the The Creative Mind series of sites which provide “Information and inspiration to help creative people thrive.”
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