Declining something can be difficult, but not if you have the right perspective.
Whether it’s a volunteer leadership position or doing office chores that gets you close to the decision makers, there may be situations in which you want to say “yes” but know you shouldn’t. These situations may be good opportunities or have an immediate reward but may hinder your ability to attain your ultimate goals.
Take control of your advancement, and don’t let some short-term opportunities steer you off course. Here are five steps to make it easier for you to say “no:”
1. Identify your primary goal.
What is it that you ultimately want to do? If you know where you ultimately want to end up, you will have a guiding light to help you navigate the short-term.
Professionals generally look for their careers to bring them meaning and mastery. Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to feel satisfied with my work? What do I need to do to feel competent and confident in my field and ultimately add value to society?” The answer to these questions can help you crystalize your main goal and the path to attain that goal.
2. Evaluate the pros and cons.
Situations may present themselves to you as an opportunity to give back to the community or make you look good.
If you say “yes” to the opportunity, what are the pros and cons of your decision? If you say “no” to the opportunity, what are the advantages and disadvantages to saying “no”?
Let’s say you were asked to plan the office holiday party. You love to plan events and know that you could impress organizational leadership with a great event, but your professional goal is to be promoted within the next year so you can start climbing the corporate ladder. You want to be seen as someone who makes high-level, strategic business decisions and not someone who handles logistical details. Saying “no” in this situation may help position you to achieve your goal.
3. Don’t fear being disliked or that you are missing out.
Making decisions gives you power. You have power over your thoughts. Maintain control over your life and career trajectory. Don’t let other people or societal pressures take away your power to make decisions that affect your life.
Focus on being respected, not liked. Focus on your ultimate goal, not fleeting opportunities.
4. Say “no.”
Clearly communicate your decision. Say “no.”
Don’t give wordy explanations. Don’t dance around the issue. Don’t give excuses. Demonstrate that you have command over your life and know what you want. Demonstrate your power.
Think about times when you have heard other people communicate a definitive answer. The clarity of thought and conviction is inspiring.
5. Don’t give an explanation, if you don’t want to.
You may feel like you are letting someone down, but sometimes you can’t worry about someone else’s feelings. You can’t let other people control your life. You have to make the decisions in your own life and own those decisions.
If you don’t want to explain why you have declined an offer, you don’t have to explain yourself. (If you do share a reason, keep it brief – one or two sentences.) You don’t owe people an explanation. You can stop after the word “no.” You can stop at the period.
Saying “no” can be hard when the situation at hand is something to which you want to say “yes.” Identify your primary goal, and consider the advantages and disadvantages of your decision. Stay focused on your goal and don’t allow other people or societal pressures to influence you. When you decline, clearly say “no.” You do not have to explain your answer if you don’t want to.
What helps you to say “no?”
