A Coaching Power Tool By Ralitsa Antova, Transformational Coach, NETHERLANDS
The Fear vs. Hope Power Tool
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness. Desmond Tutu
Every pursuit of a goal can be compared to the summit of sometimes a looming-looking mountain. At times we are walking with ease and confidence and feel ready to embrace whatever the path to the top holds. But there are other times when we feel the grip of fear that makes us paralyzed and static, unable to move. As if someone robbed us of our fuel.
We can choose to stay in the energy of being stuck and closed or we can choose to open up and take the perspective of hope. Transitioning from fear to hope allows us to break free from the paralysis and take steps to summon the mountain of our goal.
This coaching tool aims to invite the client to make a shift from fear and adopt the perspective of hope. Before we zoom into the mechanics of it, let us start by understanding the roots of fear and the harm that staying in fearful energy brings to us.
What Is the Difference Between Fear vs. Hope?
About Fear
Fear is a human emotion that is triggered by a perceived threat. Being in a state of fear signals our bodies to respond to the threat with a fight or flight response. It is an evolutionary mechanism meant to keep us safe and protect us from harm arising at the moment (e.g. a wild animal attacking us). However, in our contemporary environment, the way we perceive danger has changed and our brains often can not differentiate between a tiger and for example, a public speaking request or increasing mortgage interest rates. For isolated occurrences, the brain has the ability to go back to a state of equilibrium, a process called homeostasis, but there are cases where we find ourselves living in a prolonged fearful state that has various negative impacts on our health and well-being.
- Physical health – fear weakens our immune system and can lead to accelerated aging.
- Mental health – Long-term fear is linked to fatigue, anxiety, and depression
- Reactivity – fear can impact our ability to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues, and process other information.
- Memory – fear can impact the formation and retention of memories.
These negative health effects have ripple effects on our decision-making and outlook on life. Everyone who has been in the grip of fear has experienced the feeling of closeness, restriction, and paralysis that it brings. This is not a state that induces us to open-heartedly pursue our goals and access our resources and as shown by science – not a good state to find ourselves in for prolonged periods of time. One way to consciously transition away from it is to shift our perspective in the direction of hope.
About Hope
We are all familiar with the power of hope. It is the wonderful human quality that helps us persevere despite all the challenges at hand and keep our “eyes on the prize” while holding the belief that the best is yet to come. It is by no coincidence, that many researchers have identified hope as one of the character strengths that is correlated with happiness and life satisfaction, together with zest, love, gratitude, and curiosity.
Similar to the case of other positive emotions, consciously cultivating hope in our lives allows us to increase our curiosity, playfulness, and openness to others, which effectively helps us to expand our outlook and build our resources, the so-called “Broaden and build effect” which was introduced by Barbara Frederickson.
And how can we further define hope? According to Rick Snijder and his “Hope Theory”, characteristics of hopeful thinking are:
- Goals – knowing where we want to go
- Pathways – Having confidence that we can figure out how to get there
- Agency – believing we have the ability to overcome potential obstacles to our goal
The equation for cultivating hope and achieving our goals is therefore:
Goals + Pathways+Agency=GAP
Supporting the Client to Shift From Fear to Hope
While working with the client, the coach can apply the roadmap below developed from Snijder’s Theory of Hope. It aims to support a shift to a hopeful state by working on our goals, agency, and pathways.
- Formulate goals and sub-goals:
- Identify the goal and formulate it in a measurable way.
- In case the goal is too big to manage, break it down into manageable chunks.
- Formulate an action plan of small, concrete steps that you can take and focus on one step at a time
- Improve your agency:
- Remember a past challenge that you overcame and the skills you applied. Can you use any of these skills now?
- Take care of your body – get enough sleep, eat healthy food and exercise
- Think of your role models – how would the people you admire have approached this?
- See the process as a fun activity, which you can learn from.
- Regularly affirm “I can do this”
- Create pathways to the goal:
- Identify what is making you feel stuck. If there is a tool, skill, or information missing, how can you get to it? E.g. read a book, do online research, contact a specialist
- Ask for help when you need it – this is not a sign of weakness, but a powerful way to achieve what you need
- Prepare for potential roadblocks and identify alternative routes; ask yourself “What can I do if X does not work out?
Applying this roadmap supports the client to stay motivated and engaged, and to cultivate a hopeful state with a focus on achieving their goals transitioning away from the old state of fear and paralysis.
The effectiveness of the steps above can be further amplified with understanding and self-application of the below concepts:
- Cultivating a growth mindset. Developing a growth mindset will help to see our abilities as something that can be developed through hard work and dedication, focusing on the progress made, and acknowledging the effort over the outcome. With this mindset, we can reframe our perspective of fear as something that we have the power to transform into hope. Instead of focusing on feeling paralyzed and stuck, we can focus on the goal at hand, ways to improve our agency as well as those to create pathways to our goals. Infused by hope, we muster the strength to further look into our fear and identify its root causes which can be a powerful opportunity to achieve our goal at hand, while improving our resilience and overall well-being.
- Understanding that negative emotions such as fear are a lot “louder” than positive emotions such as hope and the brain is naturally wired towards the negative. The key strategy is not to try to eradicate fear (which is not feasible), but to consciously cultivate, nourish and savor experiencing and staying in a hopeful state.
- Applying the power of visualization and mental imagery on a daily basis. Here is an example from “Creative Visualisation” by Shakti Gawain. Close your eyes and imagine yourself taking each step with ease and certainty. Then take a breath and imagine how you have already achieved the goal. Stay with that sense of accomplishment and feel the confidence coming out of it.
a coach can bring.
References
Impact of Fear and Anxiety | Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing (umn.edu)
Positive Psychology | The Art of Fun and Interesting Life
Psychology of Hope: You Can Get Here from There (C. Snyder, 2003)
Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life (S. Gawain, 2010)
Ageless Body, Timeless Mind: The Quantum Alternative to Growing Old (D. Chopra, 1994)
Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive (B. Fredericson, 2009)
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (C. Dweck, 2006)