A Research Paper By Katharina Fischer, Growth & Development Coach, SWITZERLAND
The Secret Ingredient in Coaching: Emotional Intelligence
Humans have emotions. The average human being experiences over 400 emotions in a day, these are the main aspect that defines our behavior, and our brains are programmed to give emotions control over both logical and rational behavior. Humans who have greater control over their emotions perform at a higher level, by using their emotional energy to behave the way they want, they are the ones known to have high emotional intelligence (Bradberry &Antonakis, 2015).
What is Emotional Intelligence?
There are different understandings of Emotional Intelligence (EI); EI can be seen as a combination of self-awareness and self-regulation that affects motivation, social skills, and empathy (Craig, 2019; Hagen, 2019). According to Naele et al. (2009), emotional intelligence is about changing attitudes and behaviors rather than changing personalities. EI does not describe someone’s personality, while personalities are difficult to change, the emotional intelligence of a person can be influenced as it involves a set of skills that can be learned.
Coaching and Emotional Intelligence
A highly emotionally intelligent coach therefore helps a client to gain awareness about their current attitudes and behaviour, guides them to apply more positive ones, and moves forward (Golman, 2018). Emotional intelligence is an essential competence when coaching, undeniable it brings a greater value to coaching sessions. EI therefore plays a central role in both the effectiveness of the coaching relationship and the outcomes achieved by clients. With coaching being known as one of the most powerful ways of communication (it raises awareness, cuts through procrastination, and moves people forward by helping improve their performance), it is bound to have a positive knock-on effect on individual performance and well-being. Coaching is a catalyst for positive change and aids individuals to be the best version of themselves (Naele et al., 2009; Joseph, 2015).
In this report, we will explore the fundamentals and importance of emotional intelligence in coaching, focusing on the significance of coaches having high emotional intelligence, while discussing how emotionally aware coaches build trust and rapport and ultimately aid client growth and motivation. So, what makes emotional intelligence the secret ingredient in coaching?
Fundamentals of Emotional Intelligence
There are three fundamentals of Emotional Intelligence:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Self-reflection
Self-awareness is the foundation of being an emotionally intelligent coach. Through self-awareness, coaches manage their own biases before supporting their clients in being objective, the coaches themselves look into the mirror and consciously know and understand who they are. Self-aware coaches know their strengths, weaknesses, and values, they are confident and can therefore be more successful in their mission (Piel, 2021).
Another component is self-regulation, it speaks about the ability to manage and control emotions, impulses, and moods. Coaches with high self-regulation can control emotions, they do not let their emotions control them, and they always focus on thinking before acting (Craig, 2019; Hagen, 2019; Piel, 2021).
Self-reflection is another crucial fundamental aspect in highly emotional coaches: it allows coaches to better understand emotions and their impact on both the mental and the physical environment that surrounds them, creates emotional self-awareness, and leads to emotional balance (Coleman, 2018; The Editorial Team, 2013). Coaches need all the mentioned fundamentals as a basis to be an emotionally aware coach.
Why Coaches Need High EI
According to Mayer and Salovey’s ability model (1990), Emotional Intelligence is part of social intelligence and is described as an individual’s skill to effectively manage and interact between emotion and cognition; EI is defined as the ability to perceive emotion, use emotion to facility thought, understand, and manage emotion (Craig, 2019; Grant, 2007). All those abilities are pivotal for effective coaching. Coaches with high emotional intelligence connect better with their clients and have greater active listening skills, which in turn leads them to ask more powerful questions and tailor their coaching style to their client’s emotional needs. Through active listening and the ability to detect the underlying beliefs in their clients’ communication, coaches with high emotional intelligence demonstrate a profound interest and concern.
On the contrary, coaches who may not possess proficiency in active listening skills and find themselves lacking the capacity to formulate impactful questions may encounter challenges in achieving greatness in their coaching endeavors. The absence of these communication attributes could potentially hinder their effectiveness as coaches.
Emotionally intelligent coaches have a profound impact on their client’s emotions and create awareness, they use the client’s emotions to facilitate thought while showing and understanding empathy. Empathy is another crucial aspect when speaking of emotional intelligence; it speaks about the capacity to recognize and understand the emotions of others. Being empathetic allows coaches to connect and understand the emotional experience of clients; moreover, empathetic coaches react appropriately in each situation, possess a more accurate instinct, and know what their clients feel (Piel, 2021). A lack of empathy within a coach’s approach is likely to result in a poor coaching experience.
Coaches with a high EI are better listeners, they guide by showing empathy and a deep understanding of their client’s emotions. Especially in high-stress situations, a coach requires high emotional intelligence to assist their clients in managing emotions. During coaching, clients often face challenging obstacles, when they navigate through thought-provoking situations that lead them to experience a wide range of feelings. They often face self-doubt, anxiety, frustration, or fear; and an emotionally intelligent coach will guide clients more effectively. Through presence and active listening, a good coach recognizes and addresses the emotions of clients and provides valuable strategies for resilience and stress management. Clients who are equipped with emotional resilience will be able to recover from negative situations quicker and turn negative attitudes into more positive ones. Furthermore, through understanding emotions, coaches also predict behavioral change and see patterns in their client’s present emotions. Coaches then help the client to self-reflect, maintain focus, stay motivated, and persevere through hard times, which ultimately moves the client forward (Chan article, Naele et al., 2009).
Coaches who may not possess great active listening skills could potentially encounter challenges in providing optimal support to their clients throughout the coaching process as they serve as a cornerstone for establishing a deeper understanding of clients’ needs and facilitating a more nuanced and effective coaching experience. Coaches may miss valuable insights and hinder their ability to guide clients successfully throughout the coaching process.
Emotional intelligent coaches accurately perceive and identify not just emotionally charged words during coaching but also understand non-verbal cues of their clients, they excel at understanding underlying emotions and intent. Non-verbal emotions such as facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and verbal cues must be recognized and acknowledged during the coaching process. High EI allows coaches to better comprehend the client’s emotional state and respond in a supportive manner. Moreover, those coaches are skilled at interpreting those emotions, they observe the client and notice when non-verbal cues do not match the words the client is saying. Coaches understand the client’s emotional state better and respond in a more empathetic and supportive manner. They accurately interpret the underlying meaning behind their client’s emotions and can bring them forward in each coaching session. Coaches need to have the ability to see those changes in clients’ emotions and bring them up when noticed. They then evoke awareness in clients which will ultimately help them understand themselves and their emotional processes better (Cai et al. 2023, Piel, 2021).
EI to Improve Trust and Build Rapport
An important element when coaching is to establish trust and rapport with the client throughout the coaching process. Coaches who possess a high level of emotional intelligence are better equipped to establish a strong and meaningful connection with their clients. And to create a safe environment where the client feels heard and understood, it’s crucial for the coach to show genuine empathy, understand the client, and act, accordingly, by empathizing with their clients’ emotions. This is essential to fully open and engage in the coaching process. As clients feel more and more valued, the trust between coach and client deepens each session. The coach’s ability to recognize and respond to the client’s emotions not only fosters trust but also encourages transparency and authenticity, leading to more meaningful coaching conversations. EI is crucial when following the coaching process since improved relationships lead to improved interpersonal functioning which will in consequence result in trust and in a greater rapport between coach and client (Chan & Mallett, 2011; Naele et al.,2009).
Additionally, coaches with quality emotional intelligence can adapt their communication style and align with their client’s emotional preferences, making the clients feel more comfortable and respected. Coaching is not a one-size-fits-all process. An emotionally intelligent coach understands that each client has different needs, learning styles, and emotional maturity. A highly emotional intelligence coach adjusts to their client’s style and offers spot-on and individualized coaching, the client should never have to adapt to the coach. High EI will aid coaches in tailoring their approach and provide a more personalized and effective coaching experience (Colman 2018, Craig, 2019; Hagen, 2019; Piel, 2021), as life dictates, people are not all the same.
In essence, emotional intelligence cultivates positive relationships and contributes significantly to the development of rapport by enabling coaches to connect on a deeper emotional level, fostering trust, and creating a genuine, supportive client-coach relationship.
EI to Facilitate Motivation and Growth
Resilient Educator (2020, June 11) suggests that EI can enhance motivation. Motivation and inspiration are crucial for achieving goals in coaching, a motivated client is, in most cases, a successful one. Coaches can therefore use their EI to tap into this and enhance motivation in their clients. They can inspire them and provide emotional support which will ultimately help the client to stay committed. When experiencing positive emotions such as happiness and joy in a coaching session, patterns broaden, and cognitions are more likely to be positive. Using positive emotional factors to gain success, enjoy learning the process, and face obstacles with a positive attitude will inevitably increase motivation (Chan & Mallett, 2011).
Motivation is the driver of why we behave the way we do and why we choose to stick to set goals. Further, motivation aids in achieving goals, and motivated people achieve more self-development and growth. Self-motivation comes from within a person, it drives success and gives us a sense of purpose to commit to goals, take initiative, improve ourselves, and achieve goals. Often, motivation is driven by optimism, enthusiasm, and resilience. Some people are also motivated by fear or failure (Piel, 2021). Through empathetic listening and probing questions, an emotionally intelligent coach can help clients uncover their emotional blind spots and discover what drives and motivates them. This heightened self-awareness is pivotal in developing a strong foundation for personal growth and change (Naele et al., 2009).
As self-awareness is crucial in personal and professional growth, coaches who possess good emotional intelligence help clients dive deeper into their emotions and inspire self-reflection while enabling them to gain more clarity on their strengths, weaknesses, and values. A highly emotionally intelligent coach facilitates growth and helps to motivate. However, effective coaching happens when both, the coach and client have a high degree of self-awareness and self-regulation and therefore, high emotional intelligence. This will result in smooth communication flows and allow the coach to work through the coaching process successfully, leading to faster and higher-quality improvement (Craig, 2019; Hagen, 2019).
In conclusion, emotional intelligence is a non-negotiable skill for coaches, as it significantly impacts the quality and effectiveness of the coaching relationship. Coaches who possess high emotional intelligence are better at building trust and rapport, and facilitating self-awareness, by tailoring their coaching approaches to the unique needs and personalities of their clients. Highly emotional coaches recognize gaps, give feedback, and enhance the EI of their clients. By recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence in coaching, both coaches and their clients can embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth that is deeply rooted in understanding and managing emotions effectively. As coaching continues to evolve, emotional intelligence will remain a central pillar in its ongoing success and impact. A coach with low EI may have lower interpersonal skills, and the inability to develop trust and inspire relationships with their clients. Successful coaches with limited EI exist, however, it is questionable how profound and effective they are in coaching. Therefore, EI seems invaluable and is the secret ingredient for being an outstanding coach.
References
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