A Coaching Power Tool By Julian Goodes, Executive Coach, AUSTRALIA
Power Tool Self-Doubt vs. Confidence
After having used some of the original coaching Power Tools from the International Coach Academy (ICA)in peer-to-peer sessions and witnessing their transformative effects, I felt compelled to create a power tool that resonates and can be immediately applied.
I have been incredibly fortunate to have supported thousands of staff in a learning and development capacity. Throughout this experience, the most common challenge I have observed is related to issues around the topic of confidence.
Unfortunately, confidence doesn’t receive the attention it deserves. Situations such as speaking up, saying no, embracing new processes and changes, standing up in front of a team to deliver a presentation, or seeking help from team members all require confidence and overcoming self-doubt.
When we doubt ourselves, we often pass up opportunities and remain inactive. Inactivity hinders our progress toward achieving goals. Take learning a new language, for instance. Want to learn Chinese in 5 months? According to Adam Grant’s latest book “Hidden Potential -The Source of Achieving Geater Things”[1]we need to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and embrace the feeling of awkwardness. Making mistakes is a sign of learning and at the heart of making mistakes lies confidence.
This coaching power tool self-doubt vs. confidence is designed to support individuals who aspire to take action and be empowered but find themselves remaining inactive. I strongly believe that coaching can assist people with confidence issues, and have personally witnessed transformative changes (please refer to the case study at the end of this Power Tool). The coaching process is well suited to delve deep and shine a light by identifying the source of self-doubt and bridging the open space between thoughts or beliefs and actions -the root cause of the inactivity. For a more in-depth exploration of the topic of confidence refer to my research paper: “Confidence Unlocked: Understanding Confidence & How Coaching Can Help”[2]
What Is the Difference Between Self-Doubt vs. Confidence?
Self-Doubt
According to the Oxford Dictionary, self-doubt is defined as
a lack of confidence in oneself & one’s abilities
One of the challenges associated with self-doubt is that its causes often run deep. The exploration phase of the coaching process is crucial to truly understanding and identifying “the block” or the root cause of self-doubt.
Below, I will briefly outline some of the uncontrollable and controllable causes of self-doubt.
Self-Doubt (Uncontrollable Causes)
Genetics & Gender
Numerous studies highlight the perception that women tend to be less assured than men, leading to terms such as the “confidence gap” as coined by Russ Harris.[3]Findings from the 2021 Women’s Confidence Report, the largest global study into women’s confidence, reveal that only 3.4% of women rated their confidence as 9-10 while 66% rated their confidence levels as low or very low. [4]Men, potentially due to environmental reasons or even nature itself (typically having 10% more testosterone which is linked to increased risk-taking and confidence) tend to exhibit higher confidence levels.
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman arrive at a similar conclusion in their book “The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self Assurance- What Women Should Know” stating that gender and genetics have an influence on an individual’s self-confidence. [5]
While it is important to acknowledge the existence of uncontrollable causes, the good news is that these challenges, the“hand you are dealt with” are just pieces of the confidence puzzle. Other controllable causes exist which are not fixed including;
Self-Doubt (Controllable Causes)
Mindset
In Carol Dweck’s book “The Power of Mindset: Nurturing Motivation and Confidence”, the concepts of growth and fixed mindsets were introduced. Individuals with a growth mindset can foster confidence by approaching mistakes as opportunities to learn and improve. [6]Failure is seen as a stepping stone to progress. Conversely, individuals with a fixed mindset tend to avoid challenges and perceive failure as a personal attack or sign of weakness. Therefore, understanding how a client thinks and approaches tasks is important. Shifting perspectives towards learning and discovery can be instrumental.
Inner Voice
Self-talk or that inner voice dialogue, is common. It can be present as much as 75% of the time for some people and can manifest as negative – ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) or positive in the form of PETS (Positive Empowering Thoughts). Discovering, naming, and highlighting these inner voice patterns can be an essential step on the road to confidence and action.
Practice
Once a task becomes familiar, the unknown becomes more known psychologically. The more familiar something is and the more we repeat it, the less doubtful we become. For example, driving your car around your own neighborhood and familiar surroundings will garner few, if any, feelings of self-doubt. However, driving your car on holiday in another country on the other side of the road may bring about less confidence with doubt creeping in. The 10,000-hour rule, popularized by Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Outliers” supports this view[7]
These causes of self-doubt can manifest in various ways in a work environment including;
Reluctance to Share Ideas
Individuals hesitate to open up and put forward ideas or thoughts in weekly meetings most likely due to the fear of criticism or the perception that their ideas may not be valuable.
Avoidance of Taking on New Tasks/Projects
People opt to stick to completing existing “safer” tasks rather than taking on new ones out of fear of failure. New tasks might appear too overwhelming or daunting often leading to procrastination.
Perfectionism
Fear stemming from unrealistic high standards and excessive time spent on minor details are symptoms of self-doubt.
These causes of self-doubt need to be explored, identified, and be made cognizant in the coaching process. Similar to a doctor needing information to correctly diagnose a patient, a coach armed with active listening and powerful questioning needs to shine a light to unravel the block or root cause of self-doubt and then ensure that the client becomes aware. Two peer coaches at ICA articulated this well with Sunita Chhibar MCC pointing out that “client learning needs to be fortified” and Alexandra Fay PCC mentioning “patterns need to be highlighted”.During a coaching session, this may manifest as a classic “aha” moment or a realization of “wow I never thought about that.”
This exploration or awareness phase is crucial to my own coaching process (AWARE). For more information and the AWARE coaching process, please refer to the ICA Coach Campus Portal[8]
Questions for exploration around self-doubt
- You mentioned doubt.. what does doubt mean to you?
- How would you describe this lack of confidence?
- In what ways does doubt show up for you?
- How is this feeling of anxiety manifesting?
- How else has this same feeling shown up?
- What typically triggers this feeling of self-doubt?
- On a scale of 1-10,10 being confident- how would you rate yourself at the moment?
- What obstacles are hindering you from being more confident?
- What is preventing you from completing these tasks?
- What is getting in the way of you putting forward ideas in meetings? Saying no?
- What beliefs around self-doubt are you holding on to?
- How is XYZ influencing your belief about completing this goal?
Confidence
According to the Oxford Dictionary, confidence is defined as
A belief (and an assurance) in one’s own abilities or the abilities of another
Once the cause(s) of self-doubt has been determined, the power in this Power Tool comes alive, and an empowering shift in perspective or flip can take place towards self-belief and“confidence”.
Confidence can be demonstrated in a professional setting in the form of effective communication, body language, taking the initiative, receptivity to feedback, public speaking, etc.
Questions for exploration and a shift towards confidence
- Imagine you were full of confidence, how would that show up for you?
- What does being confident feel like to you?
- What would some of the benefits of taking action be?
- What situations in your professional career did you experience a feeling of confidence?
- Reflect on a recent work success. What specific factors contributed to this success?
- What skills were you able to leverage when you were confident?
- Who can you leverage for support in this area?
- In the workplace or personal life, who supports and encourages confidence?
- How can you use this experience to boost your confidence?
This Power Tool is still a work in progress but has already achieved success and shown positive results in the business field.
Case Study & Use
Situation
A China team within an American multinational company faced challenges speaking up in virtual global meetings. Despite the boss’s encouragement for the team, and with the company emphasizing communication and collaboration, little progress was observed. This lack of openness resulted in issues such as a lack of transparency, trust issues, communication problems, and low morale.
Solution
The team first underwent a series of individual coaching sessions to align on the goal of speaking up and exploring underlying challenges. Deep-rooted issues linked to culture, lack of skills, and fear of being misunderstood were uncovered. Staff was encouraged to demonstrate how they felt in these situations. Managers were also asked to provide their own observations, input, and recommendations. It was during these sessions that staff experienced “aha moments” and began to understand their personal frames/blocks to speak up, many of which were linked to self-doubt.
Group-facilitated sessions are used to reinforce the benefits of action vs inaction. Training tools focused on structuring a point/opinion, providing the team with opportunities and skills to practice in demo global meetings.
Final individual coaching sessions followed global meetings where team members reflected on progress and future action plans were made.
Outcome
Feedback from the project was extremely positive, leading to senior managerial recommendations for another four teams to undertake the program. Through heightened awareness and the identification of limiting beliefs, the Power Tool self-self-confidence successfully addressed the team’s challenges, fostering better communication, increased transparency, improved trust, and elevated morale within the organization.
References
Grant, A. (2023) Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things, WH Allen
Goodes, J (2024) Confidence Unlocked: Understanding Confidence & How Coaching Can Help, ICA Coach Campus Portal
Harris, R. (2011) The Confidence Gap -From Fear to Freedom, Robinson Publishing
Women’s Confidence Report (2021) https://womensconfidence.report/
Kay, K & Shipman, C (2014) The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know, Harper Business
Dwek, C (2007) The Power of Mindsets: Nurturing Motivation and Confidence, Random House
Gladwell, M (2008) Outliers: The Story of Success, Penguin
Goodes, J (2024) Coaching Model A.W.A.R.E, ICA Coach Campus Portal