A Research Paper By Natasa Matsitelli, Life & Transition Coach, SWITZERLAND
Transitions That Matter
When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills. –Chinese Proverb.
“Transitions that matter” have a dual meaning. Firstly, they refer to significant milestones in one’s life, leading to changes in roles, responsibilities, and assumptions. Secondly, it signifies transitions that become apparent with shifts in one’s sense of self, purpose, meaning of life, and perception of reality.
Throughout our lives, we experience changes that challenge us from within. Some come in the form of known changes related to our life stages or changes we have desired for them to happen. Others come in the form of unexpected changes that we never wanted or thought we would experience. Regardless of how they manifest in our lives, they create an imbalance and force us to step into the unknown and explore new ways of being.
During my coaching training, I’ve developed a keen interest in transitions. My experience with transitions and my interaction with clients has made me reflect deeply on the factors, awareness, and skills necessary to move from one’s current state to a desired state with a sense of accomplishment and empowerment. This paper will try to shed light on the following questions:
- What is a transition, how does it unfold, and what makes it a challenging time?
- What factors determine a person’s effectiveness in coping with transition?
- What is the role of coaching in transitions?
Change vs.Transitions
Change is an external event or situation that happens to us and around us. It is an external stimulus that does not require our consent or approval. Something happens that results in a fundamental difference in our situation or current reality as we know it.
Transition is the internal, emotional, and psychological process to internalize and adapt to a new situation. It is the process that unfolds before, during, and after the change event and, on many occasions, requires time and requires a shift of perception, roles, behavior, routines, and assumptions.
What Makes Transitions Difficult?
Transitions in life can be challenging because they require us to let go of what we’re used to and face the future with vulnerability. These changes typically start with a series of losses, such as losing a place, people, routines, roles, and a sense of belonging in the world. Even if we expect or want the change, it has an emotional impact.
During this time, we must challenge our old ways of doing things and start considering new approaches. We must move away from our automatic habits and become more aware. Since our brains seek efficiency and prefer to be unconscious, during times of transition, we put much effort, attention, and deliberate actions into making this manifest/ happen.
As Dr. Joe Dispenza argues in his book “You Are the Placebo,” To change, we must become aware of our unconscious self and the hardwired programs that keep us stuck in habitual ways. The hardest part of change is not making the same choices you made yesterday. Breaking out of these patterns and making different choices can be uncomfortable because it is unfamiliar and unknown. It doesn’t feel normal. We don’t feel like ourselves anymore.
That is when we step into the river of change. This means we step into the unknown and must cross a gap between our old selves and new ones, which requires time and effort. Many people slip back into their old habits because the discomfort of change is too much. However, if we embrace the pain as the death of our old selves, we have the power to change and create new possibilities. Despite the discomfort, the unknown is the perfect place to start designing new possibilities.
Transition Theories and Stages
A few theories address transitions and the process that undergoes them. Each with a different perspective adds a form of understanding around the topic.
The Bridges Model created by change consultant William Bridges was first presented in his 1979 book, “Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes,”. According to Bridges, there are three stages of transition with specific characteristics and emotional responses:
Endings (People need to ‘let go’ of the old ways) – they enter this initial transition stage when they first experience a change event. This stage is often marked with resistance and intense emotions since people are forced to let go of something they are comfortable with or value highly.
The Neutral Zone (People make the ‘journey’) – is the crossing from the old to the new. People explore new ways of being. They learn new things, create new processes, and move toward new beginnings. During this phase, people may feel lost, confused, frustrated, rewarded, and exhilarated.
The New Beginning (People commit to a new future) – they have begun to embrace the change. They’re building the skills they need to work successfully in a new way, and they’re starting to develop new understandings, personal values, relationships, and beliefs. Individuals can see a different future as these new ways come into being. With this awareness comes excitement, energy, optimism, and positivity about what’s to come.
Source:https://blog.visual-paradigm.com/what-is-bridges-transition-model-change-vs-transition-explained/
The Bridges model is a helpful tool for breaking down the process of personal transformation into stages, emphasizing the role of emotions and motivation at each step. It is an excellent approach to the psychological change that takes place when an individual goes through personal transformation. In the world of coaching, this awareness of the emotional cycle is helpful for the individual looking to implement change and the coach looking to support an individual through their transition. Exploring techniques and strategies to increase emotional awareness and effectively handle emotions in all stages is essential during a transition.
Another theory of transitions comes from psychologist and professor Dr. Nancy K. Schlossberg. She defines a transition as an event or nonevent that results in a change in assumptions about oneself and the world and thus requires a corresponding shift in behavior and relationships. This theory views transition as a process over time with no endpoint. It includes assimilation and continuous appraisal phases as people move in, through, and out of a new situation.
The first transition stage can be perceived as a “Moving-in” situation or circumstance – new home, country, or job, becoming a parent, retirement, or kids moving out of the home. When people have learned how the new situation works, they go into the ‘Moving through’ transition stage. People try to balance and integrate the implications and demands of the new condition with the rest of their lives. “Moving-out” situation: People end a series of transitions and look forward to the next phase of their lives. It’s a time of stability and integration with other aspects of their life.
Source: Transition Theory – Nancy K. Schlossberg – Marcr
Transitions can unfold differently, whether linear with explicit start, middle, and ending points or as a perpetual process with phases of ambiguity or stability. They are messy periods as individuals experience different emotions at different stages, requiring various adjustments. During this period, the individual goes through learning and unlearning, doing and undoing, letting go and embracing, and generally leaving behind roles, relationships, routines, and assumptions and defining new ones. Coping mechanisms in this turbulent time are critical to success.
4s System as a Coping Approach
In times of transition, certain factors or skills can affect an individual’s ability to cope. Recognizing these can be helpful during the process. Dr. Nancy K. Schlossberg’s 4S system is a tool that helps individuals understand and cope with transitions. It identifies four key factors influencing coping ability: Situation, Self, Support, and Strategies (as seen in the graph below).
The 4S system provides a structured way of recognizing the resources available during a period of change. Taking stock of resources across different areas helps individuals clarify their unique situations and perspectives as they navigate the transition. Understanding if resources are assets or liabilities highlights the easiness with which the change may occur. If assets outweigh liabilities, adjustments can be made relatively easily, but the transition may be more challenging to manage if liabilities outweigh assets.
Source: Transition Theory – Nancy K. Schlossberg – Marcr
In the context of coaching, the 4S system can help clients become more aware of their situation and their readiness to change their behaviors, perceptions, and assumptions to adapt to new circumstances. The system may also help identify the client’s current skills and areas for improvement, determine the available support systems, and develop action plans and strategies to complete the transition or reach a point of stability.
How to Support a Client in Transition?
As a coach, helping clients navigate a transition involves aiding their awareness of their current situation, understanding their perception of what they’re going through, taking stock of their resources, identifying necessary changes, and ultimately empowering them to take charge and create a plan for moving forward.
Dividing coaching sessions into three stages – Approaching Change, Taking Stock, and Taking Charge – can provide structure and support for the client.
Approaching Transitions
When working with clients experiencing a transition, it is essential to establish a relationship and understand the individual’s unique perception of the change they are going through and its impact on their lives. This initial stage explores the first S in the 4S system.
Listening attentively to the words used by the client about the situation, the emotions, and the beliefs is the foundation for understanding where the client is now. The coach is required to be cautious not to assume anything on the premise that no one client responds, feels, or experiences a transition in a specific way.
It is also essential to determine the stage of the transition process the client is in. Is the client in the initial stage, just moving in the transition, reacting to loss, and trying to handle the turmoil and the emotions? Has the client achieved a level of acceptance of the change in their life and is in search of new approaches and behaviors? Has the client embraced the change and the shift required in the new situation but still needs help to put it in place and integrate it into their life?
Powerful questions will help gain a deeper understanding of the client’s situation.
- What event triggered the transition you are experiencing? Did you initiate it, or did it happen to you? How do you feel about it?
- Was this change event something anticipated- predictable, not anticipated- non-predictable, unexpected, or a non-event (an event that is expected to occur but does not)?
- Was it “on time” or “off time” regarding your life plan? Was it a good time or a wrong time in your life? What made it a good or bad time?
- Is this transition permanent, temporary, or uncertain?
- What aspect of the transition do you consider to be within your control? What is not in your control? What do you want to do about this?
- What are the circumstances in your life where the transition occurs?
- What changes have you experienced in your roles? How do you view this change as a gain, a loss, or neutral? What are the implications to the daily routines? What has changed in your life? How has the change affected your roles?
- What other sources of stress are present in your life or situation? How do these affect the transition you are going through?
- Who or what is seen as responsible for the transition? How is your behavior affected by this person/situation?
Monitoring the person’s filters, beliefs, or attitudes is crucial while exploring the situation. Impactful coaching involves coaching the Who and not the What. This means the coach looks to unveil the person’s unique perspective on the situation rather than dwell on the details of the change event.
Taking Stock
Self: At this part of the exploration, the coach can support the client by helping them identify the intrinsic “weapons they have in their armor.” By acknowledging their personal strengths, approaches in life, and core values, the client can gain insight into how to effectively manage the transition they are going through. Also, identifying beliefs limiting their view can highlight the necessary improvements or adjustments they need to make.
- What is your general outlook on life? Do you see the glass full or half empty?
- What strategies have you used in the past to handle change?
- What values are challenged at this moment in your life?
- What role would these values play in the new situation you are moving to?
- What have you learned about yourself when dealing with transition? How does this learning inform your situation now?
- What needs to shift for you to move to where you want to be?
Social support: Being supported by a network of people and a social group is a positive element of coping in difficult times of transition. Helping clients identify the people who accept them without judgment and encourage them to express their true feelings can contribute positively to the changes they are going through.
Take stock of the people who can positively contribute to the current journey of change.
- What support systems are in place to aid transitions?
- What systems do you have in place to handle stress?
- Who can you ask for support in your intimate relationships or family environment?
- Which networks of friends can help you relieve stress?
- Which are some social networks or groups with which you share similar interests or passions?
Taking Charge
This is where the client has embraced the change they are going through, identified their assets and liabilities, and is ready to move to the next phase. It is essential to support the client in choosing which coping strategies they are prepared to act on. Pearlin and Schooler (1978) classified coping strategies as those that try to modify the situation (e.g., brainstorming or legal action), those that try to control the meaning of the problem by reframing the situation (e.g., trying to see opportunities that might occur from the case), and those that help reduce stress (e.g., meditation, exercise). There is no single magical coping strategy. Instead, the person who flexibly uses many strategies will be better able to cope.
Bring light to the coping strategies they are willing to engage with:
- Are there ways you might change the situation?
- How can you change the way you see the situation?
- What will this allow you to do/ to be?
- What systems do you have in place to handle stress?
- How can you reduce your stress level?
Transitions a Period of Growth and Development
Transitions are messy and often miserable, occurring at inconvenient times and disrupting the story we have built for ourselves. However, they provide an opportunity for self-reflection and personal re-evaluation, setting a series of reverberations. They are a “meaning” exercise that requires us to revisit, rethink, and rewrite our life story. Demystifying them and deepening their understanding of self and the support systems available can make transitions a period of growth and development.
References
CROSSING THE RIVER OF CHANGE | Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.
The Season of Change and Transition.
INTERVIEW: Dr. Nancy Schlossberg and her Career Transitions Theory – YouTube
(4) Transitions Through Life – YouTube
https://blog.visual-paradigm.com/what-is-bridges-transition-model-change-vs-transition-explained/
https://richardbjoelsondsw.com/articles/managing-difficult-life-transitions/
Transition Theory – Nancy K. Schlossberg – Marcr
Schlossberg’s Transition Theory by Toya Richardson (prezi.com)
Bridges’ Transition Model for Change: A Simple Summary – The World of Work Project
https://www.be-cause.com/insights-blog/life-in-transition