A Coaching Power Tool By Daria Daves, Leadership & Life Coach, GERMANY
Feeling Good at Your Workplace – How Our Mindset Matters
Based on various studies[1] the most prevalent emotions in the workplace are stress, frustration, anxiety, and annoyance. Negative emotions may place employees and leaders out of their performance zones where they can thrive and be productive.
If you want to feel better again and foster a positive and productive environment in your private and professional life at the same time, here is how you can control your emotions in a way that serves you better. If you are looking for a way to manage and contribute positively to your own emotions for yourself or to support your employees, then this power tool is for you.
Our emotions can have a significant impact on motivation, energy, and behavior, and it is important to understand and manage them to achieve optimal performance and well-being. The Energy and Emotions Matrix is a powerful tool used to help individuals understand, manage, and make changes to improve their emotions, energy levels, and behavior – in a visual and simplified way. According to this model, there is a connection between emotions and energy and the impact of different emotions on an individual’s motivation, behavior, and well-being.
The Energy and Emotions Matrix is a holistic and integrative approach, that recognizes that emotions and energy are not isolated from other aspects of life such as work, relationships, physical performance, and mental health. It is based on the premise that emotions and energy are closely interconnected and that our thoughts and beliefs play a major role in determining our emotional and energetic state.
Hence, it emphasizes the personal responsibility and potential of positive thoughts and beliefs in shaping positive emotions, energy, and behavior. The Energy and Emotions Matrix claims that positive emotions can create positive energy, which can lead to feelings of happiness, motivation, and inspiration. Whereas negative emotions can create negative energy, which can lead to feelings like stress, anxiety, and frustration. It has been embraced by individuals and organizations as a valuable tool for personal and professional development.
My Job Makes Me Feel Bad vs. I Can Control the Way I Feel at Work
The matrix classifies emotions into 4 categories: Performance Zone, Renewal Zone, Survival Zone, and Burnout Zone.
- Performance Zone
Typical emotions: energized, connected, challenged, aligned, passionate, excited, happy, confident, determined, inspired
This zone is characterized by high-energy positive emo-tions, such as excitement and enthusiasm, and is associated with increased motivation, energy, and peak perfor-mance. For example, a team member is motivated and excited about a new project and is performing at their best. Or a person is feeling enthusiastic about a new hobby or activity and is fully engaged and performing at their best.
- Survival Zone
Typical emotions: frustrated, angry, resentful, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, irritated, tense, hostile, burdened
This zone is characterized by high-energy negative emotions, such as anger and frustration, and is associated with decreased motivation, energy, and performance. Example: A team member is feeling frustrated and angry due to a lack of resources or support, leading to decreased motivation and performance. Or a person is feeling angry and frustrated due to a difficult situation or challenge, leading to decreased motivation and performance in other areas of their life.
- Recovery Zone
Typical emotions: content, peaceful, relaxed, rejuvenated, grateful, soothed, satisfied, restored, recharged, nurtured
This zone is characterized by low-energy positive emotions, such as contentment and peace, and is associated with decreased motivation, but increased rest and rejuvenation. For example, a team member is feeling content and relaxed after a long day of work and can recharge and refresh for the next day. Or a person is feeling peaceful and relaxed after a yoga session or a long walk and can rejuvenate and recharge their batteries.
- Burnout Zone
Typical emotions: disappointed, sad, depressed, weary, deflated, drained, discouraged, exhausted, hopeless, helpless
This zone is characterized by low-energy negative emotions, such as sadness and disappointment, and is associated with decreased motivation, energy, and burnout. E.g. A team member is feeling disappointed and sad due to long hours, high stress, and a lack of work-life balance, leading to exhaustion and decreased motivation and performance. Or a person is feeling sad and disappointed due to a difficult situation or challenge, leading to decreased motivation and performance in other areas of their life and potentially to burnout.
What Is the Possible Impact of Negative Emotions Like Stress, Frustration, Anxiety, and Annoyance on Employees and Leaders in the Workplace?
Obviously, emotions differ from person to person and different situations can lead to different emotions and reactions. However, according to the Energy and Emotions Matrix, the most prevalent emotions at the workplace such as stress, frustration, anxiety, and annoyance, may place employees in the Survival Zone of the Energy and Emotions Matrix, rather than the Performance Zone where they can thrive and be productive. Being in the Survival Zone can lead to low energy levels and a focus on immediate concerns and needs. Individuals in this state may feel overwhelmed, powerless, and unmotivated, and may even exhibit physical symptoms such as headaches or muscle tension. An employee or leader who is in the Survival Zone may show the following behaviors:
- Lack of motivation: They may struggle to find meaning in their work and feel demotivated, leading to decreased productivity and engagement.
- Poor decision-making: They may struggle to make decisions and may feel overwhelmed by the demands of their work, leading to indecision and decreased confidence.
- Avoidance/procrastination: They may try to avoid tasks or responsibilities that they perceive as too difficult, leading to further stress and anxiety.
- Withdrawal: They may become isolated and retreat from social interactions, both at work and outside of work.
- Negative thinking: They may experience negative self-talk and pessimistic thoughts, leading to a negative cycle of thinking.
- Physical symptoms: They may experience physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and difficulty sleeping, which can exacerbate their negative emotions and stress levels.
These examples show how different emotions can influence motivation, energy, and behavior in different ways, and how it is important to manage emotions to stay in the Performance Zone or Renewal Zone and avoid the Survival Zone or Burnout Zone. It emphasizes the need to proactively recognize, understand, and manage our negative emotions in the workplace to achieve optimal performance and well-being and contribute to a positive and productive environment in private and professional life.
What Can You Do When You Are Experiencing Negative Emotions and Find Yourself in the Survival Zone to Move Back Into the Performance Zone?
To shift out of the Survival Zone and into a more positive state, it is important to implement strategies to increase energy levels and manage negative emotions. It’s essential to address this issue and help employees and leaders move towards a more positive and energized state. According to the Energy and Emotions Matrix, a person can move from the Survival Zone to the Performance Zone by taking certain steps. These steps might include:
- Improving self-awareness and self-management:
Identifying and managing negative emotions: Understanding what is causing negative emotions like stress, frustration, anxiety, and annoyance can help a person identify and manage negative emotions. - Practicing self-care:
Engage in self-care activities that bring you joy and increase your energy levels, such as exercise, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies. - Developing healthy coping mechanisms:
Utilizing stress management techniques can help a person reduce stress and anxiety, as well as engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, or socializing.
- Building resilience:
Developing skills that can help a person bounce back from setbacks, such as assertiveness, effective communication, and time management, can help improve resilience.
- Seeking support and a positive network:
Building a network of trusted individuals who can provide support and encouragement can help reduce stress and increase well-being. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who believe in you and your abilities. - Improving work-life balance:
Finding a balance between personal and professional life can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being. - Developing a growth mindset:
Developing a growth mindset means believing that abilities can be developed through effort and learning from mistakes, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth.
By taking these steps, a person can move from the Survival Zone to the Performance Zone and experience increased energy, motivation, and overall well-being. However, it is also recommended to take proactive steps to improve emotional and physical well-being, to stay in a positive state of mind, and good overall performance.
How Can a Coach Support the Transformation of Your Negative Emotions, Affecting You, Your Relationships, and Your Job Performance Positively?
Getting coaching support can be a helpful way to understand, manage, and make changes to improve your emotions, energy levels, and behavior at the workplace. A coach can provide a safe and supportive space for you to explore and process your emotions and can help you identify patterns and triggers that may be contributing to your emotions. Through a coaching relationship, you can develop a deeper understanding of the meaning of your emotions and how they impact your thoughts, behaviors, overall well-being, and goals. Coaches often use various tools and techniques to help clients explore their emotions and understand the underlying causes. In this power tool, we will have a look at how we can understand and manage our emotions through the exploration of our thoughts. The exploration of unfulfilled needs is a matter of a different power tool.
How Can a Coach Support You to Change Your Negative Emotions?
Use the power of your thoughts to change the way you feel.
A coach can support you in changing your negative emotions by changing the way you think. How? Here is the magic: The relationship between our emotions and thoughts is absolutely powerful -your thoughts can influence the way you feel. Negative thoughts can create negative emotions; positive thoughts can create positive emotions.
These negative thoughts or underlying beliefs about ourselves, others, or a situation, which are often unconscious blind spots for the client, can contribute to negative emotions and are therefore called internal emotional triggers. The coach’s main goal is to identify and shift these internal negative thinking patterns, using cognitive-behavioral techniques. The key is promoting reframing thoughts by looking at the problem from another perspective and utilizing positive self-talk (positive language). This type of Positive Psychology Coaching (PPC) promotes forward-focused thinking and leads to improvement and increased overall well-being. It emphasizes that the way we interpret and explain events or situations is more important than the events themselves.[i]
The fact, that there are not only external factors such as work, people and relationships, social interactions, health issues, and environmental conditions triggering our emotions but also internal factors impacting us, opens up the possibility to freely choose and control our emotional response and behavior.
Internal emotional triggers can be related to past events, current circumstances, or expectations for the future. Internal emotional triggers can vary from person to person, as they are based on an individual’s unique experiences and perspectives. The following table shows internal emotional triggers, that can cause negative emotions:
Internal Emotional Triggers | Examples |
Thoughts, Assumptions, Expectations, Beliefs | Negative self-talk or self-doubt (“I am not good enough!”, “Others are better!”) Insecurities or vulnerabilities, high or unrealistic expectations, perfectionism (“I want it to be perfect!”), or low self-esteem or self-worth |
Feelings | Anxiety, fear of failing, lack of control, pessimism, lack of confidence in having the right skills or being successful |
Behavior | For instance, excessive worry about the outcome of a job interview can result in physical symptoms like excessive sweating, difficulty sleeping, and nail-biting |
Others | Lack of time, inability to accept uncertainty, unprocessed past trauma or past experiences |
It’s important to be aware of your internal emotional triggers, as they can have a significant impact on your emotions and your emotional responses to external situations. Greater awareness is a big step towards a better understanding and management and change of our negative emotions and can be explored through self-reflection, therapy, or coaching. Understanding our external and internal emotional triggers can also help us to better manage our emotional reactions and behavior in emotionally challenging situations.
Why Should You Put More Effort Into Understanding Your Emotions?
Simply, because it gives you more options to deal with an emotional issue or situation in an empowered, envisioned, and positive way. We get the possibility to shift our focus away from the external situation causing emotions to emotions the situation is causing inside of us. We can shift the perspective to a positive experience that provides us with future options, either thinking about what we can do about the issue or situation or deciding to let go sustainably.
The benefits of using the Energy and Emotions Matrix include increased emotional awareness and understanding, the ability to identify patterns in emotional experiences and the possibility of creating strategies for managing and transforming emotions. It is important to note, that the Energy and Emotions Matrix is just a tool and includes subjectivity in the categorization of emotions, as well as the potential for oversimplification of emotional experiences and the complexity of emotions. However, as the coaching session is holistic and client-centric, the coach will explore the client’s current situation, goal, emotions, and energy to reveal the client’s potential for positive thoughts and beliefs in shaping positive emotions, energy, and behavior.
What Happens Within a Coaching Session Regarding the Transformation of Your Negative Emotions and Energy?
The Energy and Emotions Matrix suggests that negative emotions and negative energy are often caused by a focus on immediate concerns and needs, and a lack of connection to personal values, goals, and purpose. To move into the Performance Zone, it is important to reframe negative thoughts, connect with personal values, and focus on positive, solution-focused thinking. This can help increase energy and lead to more positive emotions and a more productive state of mind.
For the transformation of negative thoughts into positive emotions and energy, the coach can for instance use various types of reappraisal techniques in a coaching session, that can be effective in promoting challenging these limiting beliefs and positive reframing. These techniques can help individuals evoke awareness around the mostly unconscious existence of negative thinking patterns, reframe their thinking in a more positive light, and build a daily routine so it becomes a habit for the client. Overall, it can lead to increased well-being, satisfaction, and performance.
Here Are Some Coaching Reappraisal Techniques to Help the Client:
- Reframing the situation: Looking at the situation from a different perspective to see its positive aspects. E.g. if a client is feeling stressed about a work deadline, the coach could help them reframe the situation by pointing out the positive aspects, such as the opportunity to showcase their skills or the satisfaction that will come from meeting the deadline.
- Cognitive reframing: Changing negative thought patterns to more positive and productive thoughts. If a client is having negative thoughts, the coach could help change these thought patterns to more positive and productive ones by questioning the evidence for the negative thoughts and finding alternative explanations. For example, instead of thinking “I’ll never be able to do this,” the client could think “I may not have succeeded yet, but I can learn and improve.” or “I am resilient and can handle anything that comes my way”.
- Reinterpretation: Reinterpreting the meaning of an event to find the positive aspects, such as, if a client is feeling down about a relationship breakup, the coach could help reinterpret the situation by focusing on the positive aspects, such as the opportunity for personal growth or the chance to find someone better suited in the future.
- Reflection: Reflecting on past experiences to see what was learned and how it can be applied to a current situation. Such as, if a client is feeling frustrated about a recent failure, the coach could help reflect on past experiences to see what was learned and how it can be applied to the current situation.
- Affirmations: Positive self-talk to reinforce confidence and positive attitudes. For example: If a client is feeling self-doubt, the coach could help them practice affirmations to reinforce confidence and positive attitudes, such as “I am capable and deserving of success.”
- Gratitude: Focusing on what is appreciated and valued in the present moment, such as, if a client is feeling overwhelmed, the coach could help them focus on what they are grateful for, such as good health, supportive friends, or a comfortable job.
- Solution-focused approach: Focusing on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems. A solution-focused approach is e.g., if a client is feeling stuck in a difficult situation, the coach could help them find solutions by focusing on what is within their control and what steps can be taken to improve the situation.
- Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness to stay in the present moment and not get caught up in negative thoughts. Example: If a client is feeling stressed, the coach could help them practice mindfulness to stay in the present moment and not get caught up in negative thoughts. This can include techniques such as deep breathing or body scan meditation.
Example of a Coaching Session
Here is an example showing some steps on how a coach can support the client to change negative emotions by changing the way of thinking through cognitive reframing on irrational beliefs, showing, that not situations themselves are at the root of emotional disturbance:
- Client: Sarah, a job seeker who was recently rejected for a position she was very interested in.
- Situation: Sarah had applied for a job that she felt was a perfect match for her skills and interests. She had spent a lot of time and effort preparing for the interview and was confident that she would be selected for the position. However, she received a rejection letter and felt disappointed and defeated.
- Thoughts and Emotions: Sarah began to experience negative emotions such as disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt. She also had negative thoughts such as “What skills do I lack? What things don’t make me a good employee? I thought I was well-suited for this position, but I guess I was wrong. What does this say about me?”
Applying the cognitive reframing process for the transformation of negative thoughts:
- Identify negative thoughts: Sarah and her coach identified the negative thoughts that were causing her negative emotions.
- Challenge the validity of negative thoughts: The coach helped Sarah to challenge the validity of her negative thoughts and asked her questions such as “Is it true that you lack the skills for the job?” or “Does the rejection say anything about your worth as a person?”
- Reframe the negative thoughts: The coach helped Sarah to reframe her negative thoughts into more positive and realistic thoughts, such as “I may not have been the right fit for this particular job, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a good employee” and “This rejection is an opportunity to learn and grow, and to find a better-suited job in the future. I will keep on seeking a new job. I might also speak to my manager about some opportunities to better leverage my skills in the current job, I will tell him what I am missing.”
Other examples of negative thoughts, such as self-doubt, fear of failure, and feelings of insecurity, that can lead to negative emotions and energy, which can keep an employee or leader in the Survival Zone:
- “I’m not good enough.” This thought can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, as well as a sense of failure.
- “I should be doing more.” This thought can lead to feelings of guilt as if they should be doing more than they currently are.
- “I’m not meeting my own expectations.” This thought can lead to feelings of disappointment as if they are falling short of what they had hoped to achieve.
- “I’m not achieving success as fast as others.” This thought can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a sense of failure as they compare themselves to others.
- “I’m not living up to the expectations of others.” This thought can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy as they feel that they are not meeting the expectations of others.
- “I will not meet the deadline.” This thought can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, and frustration.
- “I’m not smart enough.” This thought can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, as well as a sense of failure.
- “I’m not going to be able to handle this.” This thought can lead to feelings of anxiety, frustration, and a sense of being overwhelmed.
These examples highlight the importance of realizing that we have control over our thoughts and that negative thoughts such as “I should be able to manage more” “My job makes me feel stressed.” or “The outcome is not perfect.” can affect our mindset and perception of situations. It suggests that by recognizing the power to change these thoughts and choosing to focus on positive thoughts, we can reframe negativity and improve our overall happiness and self-belief. It also emphasizes that having a positive mindset and changing negative thoughts is the first step towards positive mental health and well-being[ii].
However, it’s important to mention that it takes time and effort to shift from negative to positive thinking, but with persistence and self-compassion, it can be done. By implementing these strategies and coaching techniques, employees or leaders can shift their focus and energy toward positive thoughts, emotions, and actions, and move toward the Performance Zone.
Examples of Coaching Questions
Here are some examples of basic coaching questions that can help the client to better understand the meaning behind their emotions or emotional reaction and underlying thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, expectations, and fears, and reframe them into a more positive way of thinking and behaving, that is more constructive and supportive:
- What is the specific situation or person that triggered an emotional response?
- How did you feel during and after the situation?
- What behavior resulted from the emotional response?
- What physical sensations were experienced along with the emotional response?
- Were there any specific beliefs or assumptions that you held about the situation or yourself that contributed to your emotional response?
- What were your expectations for the outcome of the situation?
- Were there any fears or concerns that you had about the situation?
- How does this situation connect to any past experiences or patterns in your life?
- What unhelpful patterns or habits have developed around the situation or person that leads to an emotional response?
- How is this emotion, way of thinking, or behavior aligned with your values?
- How does this emotion, way of thinking, or behavior serve your goal, purpose, or performance?
- How would you like to feel now and in the future?
- Are there any other perspectives or ways of looking at the situation that you haven’t considered before and would support the way you want to feel?
- How can you reframe your thoughts and beliefs about the situation in a way that serves you better (e.g. more positive and goal-supporting way)?
- What potential new thoughts, beliefs, or actions could be taken in the future to manage the emotional response in a more helpful way?
- How do you prepare yourself when faced with a similar situation in the future?
- What actions can you take to manage your emotional response in the future?
- How do you track and monitor your external and internal emotional triggers?
- How can you reflect on the progress in managing the emotional response over time?
- Who or what could support you and hold you accountable during this learning process?
References
[1]https://www.quantumworkplace.com/future-of-work/emotions-in-the-workplace-how-to-deal-with-emotions-at-work
[1] https://www.paylab.com/newsroom/what-are-the-major-stress-factors-causing-employees-to-lose-sleep/50269
[i] International Coach Academy, Positive Psychology, Underlying Beliefs, Power Tools, (2022).
[ii]https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-three-minute-therapist/202204/6-steps-change-your-thinking-and-change-your-life, (2023).