A Research Paper By Marie Romero, Leadership & Accountability Coach, UNITED STATES
We all experience trust or the lack of trust in our everyday lives. It is a belief and action that guides many of our thoughts and actions that affect our work, business, and personal lives. With trust being vital in our relationships, I decided to make this the topic of my research paper. I also believe it is the foundation of a productive and effective coaching business.
In this paper, we will discuss how to create and develop trust, how to keep and improve it, how to improve self-trust, and finally how it all relates to coaching.
Trust: A Simple Word with a Big Impact
In its Oxford definition trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. When you dive deep into the action though you’ll find out that it affects our decision-making, our actions, and the quality of our relationships.
How to Create Trust
According to a Forbes Magazine article on how to build trust by Dennis Jaffe, there are six building blocks of trust. First is reliability and dependability, then transparency, competency, sincerity, authenticity, and congruency are coupled into one building block. The last two are fairness openness and vulnerability.
Reliability and Dependability
When someone enters a relationship with another be it at work or in a personal setting the first thing we do is observe and analyze a person’s character. The very first thing we consider of a person’s character is how reliable and dependable are they. Trust is extended if a person claims they will be true to their word and fulfill a commitment. Often the level or degree of trust is increased if a person can prove reliability and dependability repeatedly over time.
Transparency
According to the same Forbes Magazine article, people are anxious about unknowns and tend to assume the worst when they are not informed about a new development. When people do not share information, the other party can easily become distrustful. On the other hand, when people share their thoughts, feelings, and considerations and or offer explanations, trust flourishes.
Competency
The book, The Speed of Trust by Stephen M. Covey, explores that in order to have complete trust a person has to display the right character and have the capabilities or competence to produce the result another wants to trust them with. Having good character and good intentions is only half of the battle. This is why we tend to trust different people for different things. In addition to character, we look at a person’s talents, attitude, skills, and knowledge to inspire confidence to produce results.
Sincerity, Authenticity, and Congruency
In my research I found this to be the area where people also added respect with trust. In my learning, I found sincerity, authenticity, and congruency to be closely related to integrity. It is difficult to explain but it is easy to observe when someone is not aligned with their values and beliefs. And when someone is contradicting or lacks sincerity it creates distrust. The other party then begins to wonder what this could lead to or where else might this person violate behaviors.
Fairness
Fairness focuses on the intent of the individual. This building block takes a look at the character and behavior of a person. Trust grows when it is clear that the relationship will involve fairness. People enjoy entering relationships where there will be a mutual benefit. You believe a person when there is no hidden agenda and when you know there is a level of safety provided in fairness.
Openness and Vulnerability
Openness is closely related to being honest. When there is honesty a person extends trust because of the integrity of the information they will receive. Vulnerability proves to everyone in the relationship that trust is shared and mutual. It takes courage and trust for someone to admit and display vulnerability. So, when someone shares vulnerability or admits to a mistake they are exhibiting mutual trust which will only increase trust.
How to Keep and Improve Trust
Now that you have worked hard to establish a trusting relationship does it stay like that forever? Not always. Trust and the degree of trust is an ongoing process. It is important to note that trust is both a noun and a verb. So even when you establish the noun otherwise known as the noun of trust you have to continue through action to keep or grow the level of trust. Because change is inevitable, experiences in life will test the trust of any relationship. According to the book, Trust Rules by Linda Stroh the best way to maintain trust is to effectively communicate. Often, we as human beings distort and delete information, and it is easy to create a misunderstanding or wrong interpretation of information. This can destroy or lower trust. The antidote is to ensure you communicate to clear away wrong information or clarify intent.
Next, it is very possible to improve trust or otherwise to gain deep levels of trust. Normally this occurs over time when someone stays congruent with the six building blocks of trust listed before but another way to improve trust is to create new opportunities. Take for instance if you were to gain new capabilities or skills or if you were to enhance your learning. This is a way to add value to another and gain deeper levels of trust. You can also improve trust by proving your character in difficult times, or better said keeping and strengthening your integrity and loyalty.
Self-Trust
As human beings, it is easy to look at the faults or find what’s missing in others but in reality, the ability to create and maintain deep levels of trust begins with trust in yourself. I have always loved the quote “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings.” It is so important to trust yourself to build confidence and allow others to trust you. After all, if you cannot trust yourself it doesn’t make sense to expect it from others, at least not at a deep level. One way to build trust in yourself is to be yourself. Learn more about yourself, accept and love who you are authentically. You can also set reasonable goals and stay committed. Do what you will say you will do. Build on your strengths, be kind to yourself, and be decisive. In some cases, trust requires a little faith.
How All of This Relates to Coaching
After listening to the ICA power tools coaching module on trust vs. doubt, I couldn’t agree more that trust is essential to the coaching process and success. As coaches, we provide a safe space for clients to open up, get comfortable, and be challenged to create change. Getting results is largely dependent on the relationship between the coach and the client. When trust is present the client will gain confidence to explore, problem-solve, and achieve their potential. According to Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust book, it has been proven that relationships with high positive trust degrees are more productive, produce better quality of work, and increase profitability with lower costs.
Trust Is the One Thing That Changes Everything
In summary, trust is the one thing that changes everything. A person’s ability to produce results, create meaningful relationships, problem solve, and reach their potential begins with trust. Trust is created using six building blocks, reliability and dependability, transparency, competency, sincerity, authenticity and congruency, fairness, openness, and vulnerability. It is important to keep working on trust even after it is established. Effective communication will help clear any misunderstandings that can quickly destroy trust. The ability to create meaningful relationships with a deep level of trust begins with trusting yourself. In coaching practices, it is vital to know how to build, maintain, and improve trust for success.