Developing positive self-fulfilling prophecies to succeed

It sometimes seems like the more we push against the idea of a particular outcome, the more likely it is to occur. We worry about failing a test, not making friends at a party, or that our partner will break up with us. And then, lo and behold, the terrible thing we believed might happen does.

This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. You expect the worst, sabotage your success, and what you fear becomes a reality.

Negative self-fulfilling prophecies can make you feel stuck in a perpetual cycle. But positive self-fulfilling prophecies can have the opposite effect. If you expect a better outcome, you may act in a way that delivers positive results. 

With self-awareness and strategies for challenging self-defeating beliefs, you can learn how to break negative cycles and build upon positive ones.

What is a self-fulfilling prophecy?

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief or assumption that shapes how you act, resulting in that belief coming true. In other words, believing something is true makes you act like it is, and your actions make that belief a reality. Let’s take a closer look at a few examples.

Examples of self-fulfilling prophecies

Let’s say you believe a friend no longer likes you and doesn’t want to hang out. Based on this belief, you pull back from them. Because you’re acting standoffish, they respond by withdrawing from you. Your negative expectation comes true, and you let go of your friend.

Or maybe you think you’re going to fail an upcoming exam. You don’t study because you don’t see a point when you know you won’t pass. Yet if you fail, it could be because you didn’t put in the effort and not because your prediction was right.

These are both examples of self-imposed prophecies. In both examples, your limiting beliefs influence your behavior.

An other-imposed prophecy is when someone else’s expectations of you influence your actions. For example, say your father expects you to do poorly in a tournament. You get nervous, miss key shots, and lose your match. His belief about you comes true.

But self-fulfilling prophecies can also work to your advantage. The power of the placebo effect is a classic example. An illustration of this effect is when study participants receive a sugar pill instead of medication and show improvements similar to the medicated group. Their belief in the medication caused a positive result even though they took a pill without any of the active ingredients they would have gotten from the drug.

The science behind self-fulfilling prophecies

American sociologist Robert K. Merton developed the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy in 1948. But there has been much research on the idea since then.

A landmark study by psychologist Robert Rosenthal and school principal Lenore Jacobson was immortalized in the 1968 book Pygmalion in the Classroom: Teacher Expectation and Pupils’ Intellectual Development. 

In the study, Rosenthal and Jacobson told a group of elementary school teachers that certain students were “growth spurters.” These students were chosen randomly, and the study aimed to see if the teachers’ expectations changed the students’ achievements. They did. When the teachers expected the children to perform better, the children indeed performed better.

This study is influential because it shows how expectations can impact performance. It reveals the importance of promoting positive expectations.

Social psychologist Lee Jussim also looked at how self-fulfilling prophecies play out in the classroom.

Jussim identified three stages of self-fulfilling prophecies:  

1. Teachers have expectations.
2. Teachers treat students differently because of these expectations.
3. Students react to the teachers’ treatment in a way that confirms the teachers’ expectations.

While Jussim examined how expectations and perceptions influenced behavior in the classroom, his research also delved into broader issues around stereotypes and how expectations influence social interactions.

The cycle of a self-fulfilling prophecy 

A self-fulfilling prophecy can spur events that create a feedback loop. Because core beliefs or expectations repeatedly influence behavior, outcomes are repeatedly affected, perpetuating a cycle. 

Forming the expectation

This type of cycle begins with an expectation, which you can form based on many factors.

Expectations may be affected by internal influences, such as your likes and desires, personal values, past experiences, and emotional state. Emotions like anxiety and fear can affect your expectations. 

External influences can also affect self-fulfilling prophecies. These could include family, culture, and social media. They could reflect dynamics in the workplace and expectations in an educational setting. 

Behaving and perceiving based on the expectation

If you believe something good will happen, you are more likely to act to encourage that outcome. This is just like developing healthy habits. If you believe you’ll feel good when you exercise, you’ll exercise often and feel good as a result.

The opposite is also true. If you expect a negative result, you are more likely to behave in a way that elicits that negative outcome.

Consequences confirming the expected outcome

If you act a certain way based on a belief, others may behave or act differently in response. This creates a feedback loop where your behavior affects someone else’s, and the outcome confirms your expectations.

Reinforcement of the belief in the prophecy's power

In a self-fulfilling prophecy, beliefs and expectations affect behavior, which then influences outcomes. In other words, your belief reinforces the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Types of self-fulfilling prophecies

Self-fulfilling prophecies can be positive or negative. They can also be influenced by bad or good relationships and how people interact. 

Self-fulfilling prophecies may be self-imposed or based on your expectations and behavior. They may also be other-imposed, based on other people’s expectations of your behavior.

Positive prophecies

As in the Pygmalion example above, positive prophecies can lead to positive outcomes. 

When teachers believed students had high IQs and were likely to succeed, they supported and encouraged them more. As a result, the students performed better. The support and encouragement of the teacher contribute to the students’ success.

Self-confidence and learned optimism also play important roles in developing positive prophecies. Finding what you are good at makes you more likely to perform well. If you stay positive, you are better able to succeed.

Negative prophecies

Anxiety can hinder your performance. Low expectations can lead to a fear of failure. Both are examples of negative self-prophecies.

If you fear failing, you may get very anxious and worried. You may be overwhelmed by the challenges ahead. Your anxiety can lead to a lack of focus, low self-esteem, and self-doubt. Negative self-talk can impact your mental health, making it more likely you will underperform and fail.

This is a negative prophecy coming true. Other personal actions can also trigger a negative feedback loop. Pessimistic thoughts and avoiding things that scare you can affect outcomes, as can poor self-esteem and procrastination.

Challenging negative thoughts helps you overcome adversity. You can learn to reframe situations and beliefs in a more positive light.

Interpersonal prophecies

Interpersonal prophecies are beliefs or expectations about your interpersonal relationships and interactions. 

For example, if you internalize negative prophecies, it can affect your self-confidence. You may be anxious and lack the stress management techniques to reframe how you think. You may then perform worse or sabotage relationships so the negative beliefs come true. 

Breaking the cycle: using self-fulfilling prophecies to your advantage

The good news is you can learn to stop yourself from spiraling and take control of your life and your destiny. 

By becoming more aware of negative beliefs, you can challenge assumptions and shift a fixed mindset. You can learn to embrace change and use self-fulfilling prophecies as manifestation methods for positive outcomes.

Below are strategies for breaking a negative cycle and building a positive environment. 

Awareness: recognizing limiting beliefs and expectations

Be aware of your negative thoughts. Reflect on how they may affect your behavior and the outcomes of situations where you can take control. 

Ask yourself how negative beliefs affect your mental well-being. Are you guilty of negative thoughts or self-talk, such as constantly putting yourself down? How are your beliefs about your abilities limiting your success? 

Write down your negative or limiting beliefs. Talk to a life coach or therapist about how to work through them.

Challenge negative self-talk

Once you are aware of your negative beliefs, challenge the evidence and rational persuasion you use to support them. Look for opportunities to use positive thinking to find beliefs to endorse instead.

Challenging negative self-talk takes work and learning how to be disciplined. It takes practice to change how you think and what you believe. 

You may struggle with imposter syndrome, the feeling you are a fraud or a phony. Do you constantly doubt your self-worth? If so, it is particularly important to challenge your negative beliefs.

Positive reframing

Positive reframing focuses on identifying your strengths and developing a growth mindset. Use a vision board to picture the success and happiness you’ll enjoy by reaching your goals. Emphasize empowering language when speaking about your efforts. Consider developing a list of positive affirmations to counter your negative thinking.

Action-oriented approach

Choosing realistic goals and taking small steps are part of an action-oriented approach. You are more likely to succeed by setting a series of small goals rather than trying to tackle one big effort. 

Remember that too many obstacles may cause you to give up. By setting goals and achieving them, you can celebrate success and build confidence. Steadily working toward small achievable goals increases your chances of success.

Seeking support: building a positive environment and using resources

Do you have a good friend who is there for you when you are upset but is jealous or undermines you when you do well? Breaking the cycle may involve setting healthy boundaries and surrounding yourself with people who support you. 

Spend time with people who appreciate you for who you are. Supportive and caring people will want you to succeed and will celebrate your successes with you.

Choosing positive self-fulfilling prophecies for a better you

Self-fulfilling prophecies are powerful. You can choose to be the author of your own story, not a character defined by a limiting prophecy. You don’t need to stay stuck.

By understanding and challenging negative expectations, you can find a path to success and fulfillment.

Work with a BetterUp coach to reach your goals faster, retrain your mind, and use self-fulfilling prophecies to your advantage.