3 Ways To Deal With Change
We’re well into September energy and in NYC, the last place in the country for kids to go back to school, we’re feeling all the things.
At our house, the kids are both going to new schools (Middle and High School!) and my husband is starting a new job…so this fall is all about ch-ch-ch-changes.
While I’m someone who’s fueled by change and the buzzy excited energy it brings me – I know that’s not the case for many.
Even with its spicy notes of pumpkin, all the newness and uncertainty that come with September can be challenging.
Here are a few ways I work with clients to move through this time of transition:
#1: Call in the team!
If you know you’re someone whose anxiety kicks up a notch during this time of year or during change in general, get ahead of it. Line up time with your most supportive friends (not the ones who amp up that nervous energy – and you know who’s who). Also, if you have a therapist you’ve worked with in the past, schedule a tune-up or proactive visit. Make sure your people are in place to support you through the potentially bumpy road ahead.
#2: Embrace the mess.
Normalize the low parts and the imperfections going into the change. You know there’s no perfect job or school or new home. Acknowledge there will be times when you’ll be exhausted by getting to know all the hundreds of people at the new gig or that your kid may have a few rough “friend” rumbles. Or even that you may end up cleaning three years of someone else’s oven grease on move-in day. The shitty parts of an otherwise exciting change are real, so seeing that going in makes them easier to process as they happen.
#3: Remember Your Hero's Journey
You’ve been through a few things. So, by now you know it’s possible. Visualize some of those times you made it through a messy, uncertain situation. Hypothetically speaking, how about navigating 2.5 years of a pandemic? What are some of the qualities you have that helped you through this or other unsettling times? How can you put them to work right now?
On our end, I’ve created more flexible time in my calendar to just “be around” if my people need me. I may not need to do anything. And if there is something to do or talk about, I’ll be there during the transition. Teen whisperer, Lisa Damour, calls this "House Plant Parenting" and I’m here for it.
I hope all of your September transitions are going as you hoped and/or you’re getting the support you need for the bumps.
As always, consider me a resource – even if it’s just to say, “My kid said his first day was ‘meh’ and I’m taking that as a win!”