Behavior of the Week: Influence Others

It is possible to have a positive or a negative influence on others. While there may be occasions when you wish to negatively influence someone else, we will leave that to you and instead focus on the positive or motivational influence, particularly in leadership situations.

The ability to influence those around you is an essential element of practicing successful leadership. To lead is to serve customers, solve problems, and manage projects. But there is much more to leadership. Leaders must lead people. Many of the habits and skills discussed elsewhere in the book, such as using social intelligence, a relevant skill. 

A strong leader moves people forward, persuades others to accept recommendations, cooperate, or change their behavior. That is the measure of influence, culminating, through negotiation and other means, in finding mutually acceptable solutions. The coach might offer feedback by asking these questions.

So how do you start? The Harvard Business Review has some great suggestions.

Do:

  • Cultivate personal connections with colleagues so they assume positive intent when you attempt to influence them.

  • Make it clear to your colleagues that you value their opinions.

  • Take steps to develop expertise by attending conferences or taking on a leadership role in a professional organization.

Don’t:

  • Worry that your attempts to gain sway are manipulative. You’re being strategic.

  • Slouch as you talk. Standing up straight with your shoulders back helps you come across as confident and commanding.

  • Use “I” too much. In your quest for influence, talk about how your ideas will benefit the entire organization and how “we” will see value.

Any of these could be the basis for you starting to work on this behavior. Then, as you practice each of these over time, the progress toward your ultimate mastery will become clear. Good luck!

Keenan Orfalea